


The Journal of a Horseman

by ggggggggg



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Anxious/depressed copia, Bubonic Plague, F/M, Homelessness, Medical Procedures, Original Male Character - Freeform, brief appearance by satan, starving copia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:07:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 29,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29240334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ggggggggg/pseuds/ggggggggg
Summary: Journal entries following Copia from his time at the Catholic Church to the satanic abbey we all know and love. Eventually will switch from journal entries so title may change.
Relationships: Cardinal Copia/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever and is basically a big headcannon I needed to get straight in my head that I have decided to yeet on over here. It is also written entirely in the notes app on my phone in like 2 days and i suck at the “proper” formatting for like quotations etc so apologies in advance, I have no excuse. Probably not the most historically accurate either but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> made a couple small additions 2/7

Jan 1, 1650

_ Hello, we have just been dismissed from choir for the night. The sisters who are in charge of schooling me gave me a journal today to practice my handwriting. They said my “chicken scratch” needs to improve by the end of the year before I will be allowed to work for the church writing down copies of scriptures for the congregation. They suggested I write what I have done for the day before my nightly prayer.  _

[the next several pages are filled with practice sentences copied down the page]

_ My name is Andrea Copia. My birthday is April 9. I live in Italy.  _

_ My name is Andrea Copia. My birthday is April 9. I live in Italy.  _

_ My name is Andrea Copia. My birthday is April 9. I live in Italy... _

March 12, 1650

_The sisters made me stay late to write again today. I hate to miss choir, music is my favorite part of the day, but they say if I do not improve enough soon I will not be useful enough to stay much longer with the church. I am afraid I will not improve enough, but I really am trying my best. I wish they could see that ._

June 30, 1651

_ Hello, it has been a while since I have seen this journal! I’ve been given a job in the churches kitchens! I am thankful I’ve been given the chance to stay even if it is only doing the cleaning. They say I am not suitable to work towards becoming a priest myself because I am not “confident” enough to speak in front of the congregation but maybe with time?  _

July 8, 1651

_ Hello again, is it weird that I am starting to see this journal as a friend? It is always there for me to talk to when no one else is. Ever since I started helping in the kitchens the other boys have been bullying me relentlessly for it.  _

_ “Working in the kitchen is a woman’s job”, they say. Some have even taken to mocking me by saying  _

_ “Thank you Sister Copia”, when it’s time to return their plates and dishes.  _

_ What is so wrong about kitchen work?I certainly think it’s more physically demanding than the “mans job” of doing the public speaking. It still gets to me though. How am I supposed to improve my confidence speaking when all I do is get ridiculed every day? I try very hard not to let the tears escape but I’m sure some get loose. I better close this journal before I end up getting these stupid tears on the pages. Goodnight.  _

December 23, 1651

_ Hello journal, I am sorry it has been a while again. Tonight’s choir practice was exhausting-there are so many times one can sing Agnus Dei! Anyways, a lot has happened since the last time. I’ve made some new friends to talk to! They do not care that I cannot always think of the words I need to say. They are patient with me, and do not make fun of me for not being able to get the words out. I am grateful to them for that. I’ve taken to sneaking away having my dinner with them. As long as I share they’ll stay with me as long as I need them to! I’ve even given the ones who seem to like me best names. The tan one I call ‘loaf’ (yes I know it’s a silly name, but she really loves when I bring bread , and she does remind me of a toasted loaf of bread), and the grey one I call ‘Cloud’ because, you guessed it, she reminds me of a fluffy cloud on a summer day. I guess I am not the most creative with names, heh.  _

_ I practice speaking to them by trying to recite the at least the main points of the days teachings. I feel I am improving but I cannot ask them as they are actually some of the abbeys rats. Lord, I hope nobody finds out they are who I’ve been spending my time with or it will be added to the every growing list of things they go after me for.  _

_ Oh, another thing I can’t believe I’ve left out! The church recently purchased a harpsichord, and the nice man who normally plays our organ during mass agreed to teach me! Maybe eventually I’ll learn to play the organ too.  _

_ Anyways, you are caught up for now. Hopefully soon the sisters will notice my improvement with speaking confidently since my writing still has room for improvement and I can finally start working towards staying long term. Goodnight for now.  _

February 1, 1663

_ Hello again journal! It sure has been a while, eh? I am packing my belongings from the dormitory. I am being given my own small room since I am finally set to begin working with Father Lawrence! I will be very busy again so it may be a while before I have the chance to write here again, but this is good, very good! I feel that things are looking up for me. New room all to myself, new place moving up in the church, and I have even started substituting for our organist if he has to miss a mass, which is something I’ve been working very hard on! It is very exciting to have a larger role. I still have been spending time with the animals around here and cannot thank them enough for their assistance being an audience for me. I do not have to worry so much about my poor handwriting anymore either. Now that I am older, the job of writing copies is primarily given to the younger boys here. I better get going, but I will take you with me and update when I get the chance.  _

Jan 13, 1665 

_ Hello journal, it seems to be becoming a pattern that we meet while I am packing. I have some big news! I am being sent to a church in London! I will be honest though, I am quite nervous about the transfer. I have seldom left the abbey since I ended up here all those years ago. I was beginning to think I would never leave, heh.I will be being trained by the soon to be retiring priest and will eventually be in charge of the church myself. I cannot believe how far I have come from the boy whose biggest dream was to write copies! I will start my journey tomorrow and should arrive in London within the month if I am lucky. I’ll try to find time to write another update once I arrive. Goodnight!  _

February 16, 1665

_ Hello journal, I just wanted to write a quick update. I have arrived in London and am to start my new job tomorrow. Father Johnson is going to introduce me to the congregation and I will be giving a short introduction and prayer tomorrow as well. I need to prepare. Goodnight. _

February 27, 1665

_ Hello journal, it has come to my attention that this new city has many more people who do not have a good place to stay, or even a consistent source of food. I cannot stand to see anyone in that state. It reminds me of the days I spent wandering as a small child before the church found me. It brings up unpleasant memories. I am going to find a way to help them even if it means cooking for them myself, I do have plenty of kitchen experience after all, heh. I think I will talk to Father Johnson after we finish mass tomorrow and see what we can do. If this is to become my church I want to make sure my people are not starving.  _

February 28, 1665

_ I asked Father Johnson. His response was frustrating. He “does not want to make the respectable attendees of the church uncomfortable by inviting the riff raff from the streets inside”. We may have had a bit of an argument, but eventually he conceded to allow me to use the church kitchen to cook as long as I only use funds I can collect for donations, or my own salary to purchase the food. He also insisted that I must take the food out to the people and not allow them in. I will work on changing his mind but in the meantime I do not mind dining with the “street rats”, as he calls them, I was one myself. I need to do some thinking. Goodnight.  _

March 10, 1665

_ Hello journal, last night was my first night being able to help feed these people. I still cannot believe that we would not have even tried to help them before-they are good people just down on luck. They told me most of the churchgoers don’t even give them a second glance as they pass by to go to mass.I do not understand this. That is not what we teach! When this church is mine I swear I will try my best to change that. Hopefully sooner rather than later. Father Johnson is not getting any younger, you know. Anyways, I know what I will be preaching for the days I lead mass. Tomorrow is my day off so I will be going to town to see how much food I can afford to restock for the week ahead.  _

March 12, 1665

_ Hello journal, I have some concerning news. During my trip to the town,I heard news of an illness that many people of a nearby town have been afflicted by. They say it is a terrible disease and that everyone who has had it have died. I feel badly for all those affected and pray that this illness stays away.  _

_ I also have news of my “street rats,” as I have taken to calling them in my own mind too, partially just to spite Father Johnson. Please do not think I mean that in a derogatory way, I still include myself in the group in my mind. After all, I remember what it was like, and they remind me of my rat friends Loaf and Cloud back in Italy the way they are so accepting of me.  _

_ When I went last night to bring out dinner I found there were more than there were the night before. I was told over dinner that many of the other churches around seem to have the same sentiments towards them and they get overlooked as though they are no more than litter on the ground. It bothers me. I will see what I can do to get as much supplies as I can so I can feed as many as I can. I really do not need to keep much of my salary for myself, I am not a material person, and I already have a place to live and clothes on my back. These people do not.I am going to talk to father Johnson again and try once more to convince him to allow me to use some of the churches funds tomorrow. It will probably be another fight which I am not looking forward to but if that is what it takes I will try.  _

March 13, 1665

_Hello journal, I am coming to you for comfort again. I wish my rat friends from back in Italy were still around. They always had a way of making me feel better. Father Johnson is not happy with me. He called me names I could not believe came out of the mouth of a man of the cloth. I thought I had grown out of my tears but evidently not. He is blaming me for the decrease in attendees at mass. “You’re driving them away bringing all your street rats around”, he claims. It made me angry and I snapped at him. I should not have. I am supposed to be assisting him not arguing with him but I told him if they are so bothered by helping the less fortunate maybe they did not belong here anyway. Truthfully, I am afraid that less people are attending because of the plague that there has now been reports of in London. I fear that soon there will be more people at the doors needing our services and religious counsel to deal with the losses of their loved ones. I pray that it does not come to that. I have a feeling that Father Johnson will start to not let anyone in._

March 18, 1665

_ I do not know what to do. Father Johnson has disappeared. I can only guess he has fled. An increasing number of reports of the plague come every day. I’ve started to see doors painted with the cross on my most recent trips to find food.  _

_ I guess it is my church now. I should be more excited than I am but my mind is in turmoil. What if I fail? It is times like these where the church will be needed the most and what if I fail? I am praying for guidance and can only hope an answer will come. _

March 20, 1665 

_ My fears have come true. I apologize for my worse than normal handwriting but I cannot seem to get my hands to stop shaking. All of the merchants in town have closed their doors. I cannot get any more supplies here. I am going to have to check with the surrounding churches and see if they have anything to spare. _

_ I have decided I am going to let everyone in. I am sure those long time attendees that Father Johnson would always defend will be unhappy but I do not care anymore. If they are upset and uncomfortable I will not stop them from taking their leave. I need to know those who truly need my help are safe while I am away.  _

March 22, 1665

_ I have just returned from my travels. I feel numb. I saw things that should not be- and I will have to do it again tomorrow. I did not find much but I wanted to return what I have and check on my people. Luckily everyone still seems alright here, but the towns I visited did not have the luck we have. I was only given supplies because those for whom they were saved have already succumbed to the disease. Nearly every door was marked.  _

_ The second town I passed was so awful that the smell alone caused me to empty the contents of my stomach. It sounds horrible to say now but I am glad it happened before I got too close, if not the poor souls who were awaiting a final resting place in the field outside the town would have done it. It was a sight I never wish to see again though I am sure it will bring me nightmares for years to come.  _

_I cannot comprehend how God could have let it come to this. I saw people from all walks of life on the sides of the road. Those dressed richly, the poor, children, the elderly, no one is spared. I feel badly to keep this from my people but I cannot bring myself to destroy their hope. I think that may be all we have left. I am going to try to take the churches old white mare tomorrow so I can try to go further out where maybe the disease hasn’t reached. I remember the children here playing with her sometimes so hopefully she will put up with my lack of riding ability, bless her._

March 23, 1665

_ I cannot believe my eyes. Everywhere I have gone to is in just as poor of a state. So far I am empty handed.  _

March 25, 1665

_ I do not believe God is with us anymore. I have seen more bodies in the past few days than I should have even if I had eternal life. What did all of these innocent people do to deserve this? Why is God allowing this? I pray and pray for guidance and it never comes! I am turned away at the few doors not yet painted! I am turned away everywhere I go! I am losing hope. I need to go. My hands are shaking too badly to write. Goodnight. _

March 25, 1665 cont. 

_I cannot sleep. I am turning to you again. I am beginning to not feel well either. The feeling of boils developing under my skin is telling me I don’t have long before I too join the bodies in the pits in the fields... I do not want to die here alone. I need to go back to the church and at least let them know they may stay as long as they need to but I will not be around much longer._ [the page has patches of wrinkled paper here, as if it had been wet long ago] 

March 26, 1665

_ I am a murderer. Oh god, I did not mean for this to happen. Was it not enough for me to succumb alone? I was trying to help these people! They trusted me! They trusted me and I brought the plague to them! Now all I can see in my mind when I look at there faces is their bodies in varying states of decomposition as I know they will be soon. I see myself lying there with them. Stupid! How can I have been so stupid! It is all my fault! I meant to bring supplies and all I brought was death! On the back of a pale horse and all! These people trusted me, I the church was supposed to be their place of safety and I’ve brought them in and killed them all. _

_ I imagine eventually their families will try to find them and find this journal among us. To them and to everyone, I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. I would do anything to save them, to undo the mistake I have made, I am so sorry and I will spend the rest of my life as long as I am able caring for everyone I can-however short of a time that may be. _

October 9, 1670

_ Hello journal, I have much to tell you. I think I am finally ready. I’m sure if you could you would ask me “how are you still here?”, to which I would respond “I do not fully comprehend how, but a higher power finally answered my prayer.”  _

_ I was supposed to die five years ago. It has been years and still it does not seem real, even to me. Was it divine intervention from God? No, I feel that God abandoned me in the days leading up to it. It was not him.  _

_ I knew we were all going to die. Sooner rather than later. I did not want for our final days to be entirely misery, just waiting for the end, and so a few others and I decided to throw as best a party as we could with what we had. We would all be gone in a few days anyway so there was no need to ration anymore. We brought out the churches store of communion wine, a few people were musicians and they played for us while we danced as best we could. It brought me joy to see one last smile on their faces. It also reminded me how they could have had many more days of happiness had I not brought death upon them. I could not take it any longer and stepped outside.  _

_ I remember falling down the stairs at the front of the church, my legs choosing that moment to give into their weakness. As I laid there, too weak from my illness to climb back up the steps, I cried and I prayed and prayed. I do not know if I passed out or if it was my time to go, but the next thing I knew I heard a voice I will never forget; inhuman but beautiful at the same time.  _

“ _I have heard your prayers, I have seen your efforts even while your idol has not. I am willing to save these people for a price,” The voice offered._

_ This was my opportunity to give these people their lives back. I would be a fool to refuse. It was my chance to fix my mistake! Of course, I accepted. I did not even ask the terms before I did, and I did not hesitate taking the offer to save my people. You will not believe me when I tell you however, in order to do so I have accepted the position of the horseman pestilence. Yes, one of the horseman the Bible calls for to bring upon the apocalypse. _

_ I have since come to the conclusion the voice must have been Satan himself, for I do not know what other force could have done what he did. I will not pretend to comprehend why he would’ve chosen me, a man just starting priesthood, a follower of his nemesis, for one of his horseman but being able to watch those from the church slowly get better makes me grateful he did.  _

_ I sometimes wish I had not hidden away so I could’ve shared in their joy when they realized their illness was subsiding. I could not face them anymore knowing what I, a catholic priest, had done. I have since left the church. Over the past few years I have been moving from town to town, Job to job. Most jobs I get I only am hired out of absolute necessity. You see, my deal has come with some... physical “gifts” as well.  _

_ Upon waking after accepting His deal, I realized right away that it the right side of my chest burned as though was on fire. I pulled my robes aside to find that I now carry the “mark of the beast”, as they say. Three sixes are branded onto my chest, I assume by the fires of hell. That discovery sent me into another breakdown, but that’s a story for another day. That is not the real issue. That can be easily hidden by clothes. _

_The real issue, as I did not discover until I saw my own reflection days later, is my left eye is no longer the green it has been my entire life. My eye is an unnatural stark white, save for my pupil. People are afraid of me because of it. It has been a struggle to find sufficient employment to get by. I want to save enough money that I can make it back to Italy, to my home town. I want to be as far away as I can from everything that has happened in my time here and at least Italy will feel closer to home, although I don’t think I can go back to the abbey anymore, heh._


	2. Chapter 2

November 1, 1670

_ Hello journal, I have some news for you again! I started working on a merchant ship today! I am only manning the bilge pump for now, but maybe someday soon I can move to a better part of the ship. It will be demanding work but maybe that is what I need- no time for a wandering mind.The most important thing is I should have a more consistent salary to save up to make my way back home.  _

April 1, 1671

_ Well journal, nothing of importance has happened in a while. I’ve moved up a little in my job- I am something of a bellboy now, helping with travelers luggage and the like. No more sore muscles for me! I do miss how quickly I could fall asleep at the end of the day, though. But! That isn’t what I was going to tell you. _

_I had a strange encounter today. Normally I tend to try to avoid eye contact with people as much as I can, as I’m sure you can understand. Something made me look up at this man today though and I was shocked to see he had the same white eye as I did! He was wearing a small St. Peter’s cross around his neck but there was nothing else remarkable about him. I did not speak to him other than to wish him a nice trip, but I think he noticed my eye as well. Was he another horseman? Or did he just happen to have an eye like mine? I don’t think that is a natural color but maybe it is. I just have never seen someone else with the same eye. Anyways, I have an early day tomorrow so goodnight._

December 24, 1671

_ Hello, today is Christmas Eve and I have been feeling down over the past few days. I think it may have to do with seeing all these families on trips to spend the holidays with their loved ones. It is... amplifying my feelings of loneliness. I find myself wishing for a family or at least friends to spend time with. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to have this job that I have but I am growing weary of spending my days watching others boarding this boat with excitement in their eyes and surrounded by those they love. I know it’s a sin to be wanting what others have but I’m not sure those rules apply to me anymore.  _

February 2, 1672

_ Hello journal, I find I am writing with shaky hands again today, for a good reason this time. I met a man today who has given me an interesting opportunity. A Frenchman who had been visiting family nearby London. He insisted I call him by the name of Gilles and invited me to work as a stablehand at his estate in Rouen.  _

_I decided I would take him up on his offer and will make my way there within the next couple of weeks. However nervous I am about the new direction I am taking, I must admit I am glad to be leaving the boat! Working in a stable will mean I will have the chance to be with animals again, something I have missed greatly since I left Italy so long ago. Maybe I will make some new rat friends to share my dinner with! Stables tend to have rats don’t they?_

February 20, 1672

_ Today was my first day with my new employer! I have already learned a good bit of the requirements of caring for the horses which I am told area breed called “Charolais”. I know there are also some rats that call the stable home because I had to clean some oftheir, eh, droppings from the horses blankets. I will try to lure them out in the next few days.  _

March 1, 1672

_ Hello journal, can you keep a secret? I met Gilles daughter Anne today and lord, is she beautiful! She came out to visit with the horses today and we got to talking for a little while, she tells me she wants to learn to ride like a man without having to care for her skirts so she can train the horses-that is her dream, you see. I don’t know if I am imagining it because I wish it to be-but I think she may have liked me too! I don’t know how to talk to women, I’ve been in the clergy my whole life for Christ’s, sake! I don’t know what to do!  _

March 15, 1675

_ I think I have found a way to spend time with her. I have been learning to ride myself already because of my deal, I guess a sick joke in my mind I tell my self if I am going to be an apocalypse horseman I should at least have the knowledge to be able to call myself a horseman in my current life. But maybe if I teach her to ride how she likes when nobody else will I can win her over?  _

March 29, 1675

_Hello journal! I am too excited to even write! Damn these shaky hands, it always happens when I am emotional!_

March 29, 1675

_ Alright, I think I can write now. My idea has been working well! We have arranged a schedule to meet and ride once everyone turns in for the night and it’s been what, nearly 2 weeks of spending time together every night! And let me tell you, my dear Anne looks amazing in pants, heh. I digress.  _

_ Tonight was a big night! We rode down to the creek where I surprised her with a small picnic. Really it was just a small cake we shared but the moon reflecting on the water, the sound of the creek, the leaves on the trees rustling in the breeze, it all made it simply magical. You won’t believe what she did next! I barely do myself, and I was there!  _

_“Andre,” she says, (that is the nickname she has given me) “I want you to kiss me”, and oh lord, I thought my heart would beat right out of my chest! She sure is never one to beat around the bush as they say! I am glad she is so direct, she always seems to know what I wish but am too afraid to say. I had never kissed anyone before but who was I to deny her? It was a chaste kiss but nevertheless my first and I loved it. I will never forget that moment. I already wish to feel her lips on mine once more._

May 19, 1675

_ Hello journal, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I’m sure you’re also curious about how Anne and I are doing and we are doing really well, but that is part of what I have been thinking about. As much as I love spending time with her it is getting harder and harder to pretend there is no relationship during waking hours.  _

_I am worried that if the secret gets out Gilles will be very upset with me, after all what do I have to give other than the promise that I will never leave her a widow? I cannot even give that promise without doing more explaining than I care to do, and even if I did explain chances are if they knew what I am I would be evicted that instant. I am lucky they are not suspicious of my eye. I have no wealth, no land, no high society bloodlines, nothing families of her status want for their daughters but I enjoy it here. They invite me for dinner sometimes and when they need to go into town and I drive the cab I am allowed to go along with to dine or shop them, I have even been picking up proper social dancing when they host balls! I am treated very well. I do not want to spoil that either._

November 8, 1675

_ I think I am in love with her.  _

December 26, 1675

_ Hello journal, these past few days have been some of the happiest of my life! Remember how just a year ago I spent these days yearning for a family and friends?  _

_ For the first time since I was a very young boy, before I lost my parents and ended up at the church, I feel cared for and included in a family holiday. I never want this feeling to end. Anne invited me in to share Christmas dinner with her family, and on our nightly ride, I gave her a hairpin she had been eyeing during the families last trip to town.  _

_ What shocked me is she gave me a gift as well. She gave me a ring the shape of a plague doctor wearing a top hat. She must have seen me looking at it in town as well but I did not have the heart to tell her I was staring at it because it gave me a flashback to visiting those towns before my deal. It is a good thing though, I think. Perhaps it will help me desensitize myself to seeing things that remind me of the darkest days and remind me of her instead. It was the thought that counted anyway.  _

_ It does always bring me joy thinking about her. I feel that we are a good fit together, her outgoing personality and mine the opposite, we balance each other out. I can only hope when she eventually finds out what I am, and I’m afraid I’ll have to tell her soon, she does not despise me.  _

June 11, 1676

_ I cannot wait any longer. I need to tell her. I love her and I need her to know what I am before I ask her to marry me. Her father miraculously still does not know about us but she may be able to subtlety drop hints until we can tell him directly. I pray to whoever is listening that I will not be let go for this. I am happy here.  _

June 13, 1676

_ Hello journal, apologies for the horrid writing again, I am devastated.  _

_ During last nights ride I brought her to the creek where we had our first kiss. I had brought the engagement ring with me and it was burning a hole in my pocket the entire ride out. I had everything planned out. I thought maybe if I was sure she loved me enough to marry me she would be more accepting of me.  _

_I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me and she-[_ there are wavy circles scattered on the page _] she agreed- and for a moment- everything was wonderful, we shared a kiss and she poked fun at me for the tears steaming down my face. It was perfect. I should have known it couldn’t last. I should have known I am not meant to be happy._

_After those few minutes of pure euphoria I had her sit down with me and told her everything. I watched as her face changed from happiness to disgust. She called me a monster and mounted her horse and took off. I tried to call after her, I tried to explain but my pleas were ignored. I went after her of course but by the time I made it back she had already screamed the estate awake, yelling that I had tried to convince her to do obscene things. I tried to tell my story but they took her word over mine, understandably, but it still hurt. I had grown to think of them as family as well. I am writing this from an inn I secured for myself for tonight. I should not have spent the money on it but I am in no state to be where anyone can see me nor do I want anyone to see me. My heart hurts._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Copia meets a new friend. As per usual apologies for formatting errors and historical inaccuracies. Added an entry 2/10

January 1, 1715

_ Hello, old friend. Your pages are yellowing with age so I have been hesitant to move them but it has been nearly 4 decades since my last entry. I did not want you to feel I have abandoned you.  _

_I have found out in the paper today that my sweet Anne has passed away. I cannot believe it has been as long as it has. I was a mess for years after she left me and seeing her obituary has brought up some of those old feelings. All those I had grown close to in that family have either passed already or are on deaths door while I still look as though I haven’t aged more than a year or two maybe. I should be in my seventies, retired and watching my grandchildren play. Instead I have been working as a cabbie in Paris for the past 25 years. It is one of the few jobs I have found where one does not have consistent clients to question you after they get to an age and are in declining health and you do not change._

_I have become numb to the loneliness. Aside from that I am doing alright for myself I think, I have a flat to sleep the nights I do not work, I’ve found myself a few pet rats who live with me as well. If I were not the way I am I might worry of the diseases they could’ve carried but- I am doing as alright as I can be I think._

April 9, 1750

_ Hello journal, today is my birthday. It has already been a few years since I passed my first century mark. I still look much the same as I did when I made my deal 85 years ago. I had planned on treating myself to a performance of Rameau’s Platée for my birthday today but it was not meant to be I suppose.  _

_ When I tried to enter the venue the steward collecting the tickets refused me entry. Seemed to think my eye meant I was in cohorts with the devil, and “scum like me” do not belong there. I tried to tell him otherwise, well at least about the part about me not belonging there, while he was correct about the devil part it was not worth the argument. It is not an abnormal occurrence to be traded that way. I just had hopes the day would go well. I should know better. I tire of this city anyway, there is nothing here anymore for me.  _

September 23, 1755

_I am moving out of Paris. I sold my cab today. I can’t believe it has been another 5 years of monotony since the last entry when I made up my mind to leave. The years seem to get shorter when you reach 110._

October 1, 1756

_ Hello. I cannot afford more ink now but I’ll see how far I can get. I made it to Lyon, France. I have been granted a few unpleasant odd jobs they can’t find anyone else willing to do. This eye holds me back from many opportunities. This deal is the reason I have been sleeping on the streets again for months. I am lucky I cannot die from exposu _

March 19, 1770

_ Hello journal. I find myself in Geneva today. I’ve been blacksmithing for the nobles here on and off for a while now to keep myself going. I suppose I am lucky it hasn’t changed much in the past century since they taught me at Gilles estate-I was able to pick it back up as if I shod my last horse just yesterday.  _

_ It is a beautiful day today. I’ve spent the afternoon sitting near the water, basking in the warmth of the sun. I’ve even let my hair loose to feel the breeze run through it once more as it did during my time as a sailor. It has become fashion to keep it longer these days-it reaches my shoulders now, but any longer than that irritates me. It gets in the way. _

_ It is peaceful. As I watch the boats go by on days like these I consider going back to sailing. I do miss the sparkling of the water under the boat and the feeling of the wind as we sailed. I wonder if dealing with the bilge has gotten any easier or if they’ve found a way to ease the smell. Memories of that stench is what keeps me from going back.  _

June 7, 1788

_ Hello again. I have recently found work at a printing press! It is run by a man named Charles who happens to be missing an eye from the Anglo-French war, so he is used to judgement. I may have eh... fabricated a little bit of job experience to get the job but I have not been so excited about something in years! I’ve gotten good at making up a fake past for myself I will just need to learn quickly. I will be Charles only employee, but he seems like a nice man and he is around my age, the age I appear at least. I hope to find a friend in him.  _

July 20, 1788

_ I had meant to get back to writing more often again but life has had other plans! Good ones, but I’ve been busy! Charles has become a friend outside of work as well and we go out for drinks a few times a week now. It is certainly refreshing to have normal social interaction again! Tomorrow night he even invited me with him to play cards at his friends house with him. I may have agreed to soon though it didn’t even occur to me until now I am not actually familiar with playing cards, but! We will see, heh.  _

February 6, 1789 

_ I went to my first horse race today, and before you ask, yes I lost my bets. I know nothing about horse racing other than the general principle of whoever finishes first wins. Charlie is a big time racing fan however and he won’t a few bets so the day was not altogether a loss. I owe him drinks now though, I jokingly bet him that I could pick winners better than he could but he’s a good friend and that’s a good excuse as any to go get drunk and forget the world for a while!  _

September 30, 1789

_ Business has been going well for us recently. Im sorry I haven’t had much time to write. Charlie has put me in charge of the production of one of the papers we print now that I have the expertise to calibrate the presses and fix any issues that come up. Sometimes I laugh to myself and think of the sisters back at the abbey in Italy; if only they could see me now, I am the copy boy just like they were trying to train me to be. I have a feeling my writing still would not pass their test would it eh? It is much the same as it has been for over 100 years. _

August 10, 1799

_ Hello journal, as usual it’s been a while. I still work at the press but Charlie has made me a co owner for after my 10th year working for him. I can tell he is beginning to slow down. His hair is graying and some days he has a hard time with the joints in his fingers but he still has plenty of life left. I am making myself sad thinking that someday he will be gone. That is enough of that.  _

_ I wanted to tell you what happened today. I was working on the paper I normally do and he was doing his. I noticed he was watching me and I caught him looking several times before curiosity got the best of me. I will try and write it out as it happened. _

“ What is it? Do I have something on my face?”, his look showed he knew he was caught. 

“Well, no- but that’s the thing.” 

“What? I don’t think I know what you mean Charlie”, his response puzzled me. 

“I have known you for a decade now and I was just thinking, either you have found the elusive fountain of youth and haven’t shared with me, or something else is up.” My stomach dropped. I haven’t forgotten what happened the last time I told someone I trusted what I truly am.

“You haven’t changed a bit- now why is that?” He asked me the question I had been dreading most. I could feel my hands start to shake. I know he could see it too. 

“Eh... I- uh I-“, suddenly I couldn’t speak. I took a deep breath and started trying to mentally prepare myself for the shitshow I knew was coming. 

“Charlie, I will explain, but you may want to sit down for this. All I ask is that you hear me out before you send me packing. If once you hear you want me to leave I will go. I will understand.”

“What are you going on about? You’re acting like you’re about to try and tell me you’re satan himself-Christ, Copia calm down!” He brought over a couple of chairs for us and sat looking at me expectantly. He didn’t know how close he was with that comment. 

Another deep breath. It was now or never. 

“You are correct. I have not changed. I have not changed and you will never see me age, no matter how long you live.”, I paused for another breath. 

“What? What do you-,” 

“Please do not interrupt, I will lose the nerve to tell you what I am about to tell you. I am- I found myself in a situation many years ago where I was desperate for a prayer to be answered. There were lives on the line that I felt- I feel I was responsible for nearly bringing them to a premature end. I was close to death myself and made a deal with a higher power to save those people and it made me what I am today. It is why I have this white eye. It is why I will not age.” 

“Copia, I don’t think I’m following. I mean, thank you for telling me, but what I think you’re saying its- that’s not possible? God doesn’t just come down from the heavens and make deals with people.”, Shit. I was hoping to avoid as much detail as possible. 

“I was born April 9, 1645. My parents both passed when I was a young boy. I ended up in the care of a large church in Italy. I grew up there and was working on becoming a priest myself. I ended up being sent to London when I was in my early 20s to replace a retiring priest. I was there for a couple of months before the city was afflicted by the plague. Father Johnson left in the middle of it all leaving me in charge. I let everyone in to give them shelter. Eventually I had to travel to find supplies as the local suppliers were either closed or dead. I saw things I wish I did not see. I brought back supplies but I also inadvertently brought the plague back with me. We were days from death and I was drunk on communion wine and was weak from the plague”, I felt tears come to my eyes and quickly wiped them away and continued. Everything was spilling out and I couldn’t stop it. I was afraid to meet Charlie’s eyes so I kept my gaze on my shaking hands. 

“I collapsed and either passed out or died myself, I do not know. I heard a voice offer the help my people for a price. I had a feeling it was not God but the one below. I accepted without hesitation anyway. I will not tell you more of the details of my end of the deal so please do not ask. It took me years to come to terms with it. I have done many jobs since then. I cannot stay most places long because people get suspicious just as you have I- I don’t think I can say anymore, I’m sorry”, 

I could not stop the tears that were now steaming down my face, both from the sadness of the memories and the fear that I would lose the only true friend I have had in a long time. I finally brought myself to look up and saw Charlie staring slack jawed at me. 

“Shit Copia, you’re serious aren’t you?” 

I sniffled and could not speak, so I unbuttoned the top half of my shirt and pulled it aside to show him the mark on my chest and nodded slowly. He said nothing. I stood and started collecting my things. I was sure he would want me out of his sight. I was nearly to the door when I felt a hand on my shoulder. 

“Copia,” he said softly “You do not have to leave. You did what you had to do. I understand.” He pulled me into a hug.

_ After that I completely broke down, sobbing and gasping for breath. Everything from the past century and a half came out at once. I was embarrassed for it to happen in front of my friend but I couldn’t stop it. He does not hate me. He knows and he does not hate me. I do not know how long it was that he stood there and let me cry. He will never fully comprehend how much that meant to me. It was an exhausting day.  _

December 15, 1799

_ Hello journal, Charlie got his hand stuck in the press today. His hand is in bad shape. I took him to the doctor but I am afraid he will lose it.  _

_ I need to go, since he is injured I will need to take over his work as well, but I wanted to update you. _

December 30, 1799

_ Hello journal. I have some bad news. Charlie did lose his hand, just as I was afraid of. It is not healing well either. It looks as though it is infected. I fear it will not get better but that may be my anxiety bubbling up again. I’ve been trying to help him keep the bandages changed while he is at the press but he can’t do it as much as he needs to himself when he goes home. He jokes with me every time that my next job should be a doctor.  _

February 19, 1800

_ Hello journal, I do not feel up to writing much anymore. Charlie’s funeral was a month ago today. The arm he lost his hand from turned septic. He declined quickly. The only solace I have is to tell myself he did not suffer long. I am left to wonder if there was anything more I could have done. Maybe I will become a doctor after all. Maybe I can prevent this from happening to others.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may end up going back and trying to fill in some of the big gaps in time eventually once I get the rest of it out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Copia takes Charlie’s advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written on my phone, apologies for formatting errors and any historical inaccuracies! Added some stuff 2/10

April 1, 1800

_ I enrolled at the University of Basel in the Helvetic Republic today, to study medicine. It is a beautiful place, very close to the Rhine river. It’s also the alma mater of multiple brilliant minds, the great Leonhard Euler being one of them. I believe it will be a good place to learn.  _

November 21, 1800

_ Hello journal, the first series of courses have just adjourned for the winter. Most of the others studying here are going back to their families for the next few months, but I think I may stay and spend some time in the library.  _

February 7, 1801

_ Today I had my first encounter with medical leeches. I must admit I do not look forward to treating patients with them myself.  _

May 24, 1801

_ Hello journal. They had us dissect a cadaver earlier today. “Being familiar with human anatomy inside and out is of utmost importance!”, they say. There is so much arranged in it respective place inside our bodies, it is amazing. Illustrations can only show so much, so today was a valuable lesson I think, however I don’t think I’ll be able to stomach much dinner.  _

June 9, 1802

_ Hello journal, I have exciting news. Our professor is taking another student and I with him to his patients tomorrow. We are being given the opportunity for being top of our class! We may even have the chance to watch a patient who needs treatment by bloodletting, which although I have heard of it, I have never actually seen it done.  _

August 30, 1802

_ Today was surely a learning experience, I assisted with my first patient today! My excitement is overshadowed though, by concern of what we heard about earlier. Since the departure of the French military civil unrest as been on the rise and there are now rumors of a rebellion starting. I hope nothing will come of it, but the others are worried as well, and are now considering studying elsewhere.  _

September 29, 1802

_ There is now a civil war being waged in the country. Though the epicenter of the fighting is not here, if the wind is right the faint sounds of artillery are audible. The amount of students has dropped significantly, and understandably so, with what is happening. I plan to do my best to stay away and not choose a side. It is not my place. I have nearly finished my studies here and will be leaving soon anyway.  _

April 9, 1850

_ Hello journal, today is another birthday. I’ve now been alive for over two centuries. I figure I should let you know what has been going on in my life. I have been running a practice as a traveling doctor. It turns out that people are more willing to look over your abnormalities when they need your help. It gives me a feeling of usefulness to have a hand in curing people, in making their lives better. I am still learning every day, and the medical expertise and practices seem to be evolving faster and faster. Lord, we did not even have stethoscopes when I started! Now that I have one I can’t even imagine practicing without having such a tool! I have also been studying the effects of different substances used for anesthesia. I couple of years ago I learned of a doctor in London who used ether for a patient to help give them a reprieve from the pain and have been intrigued ever since. I believe this is something big, that may even change medicine as we know it. Now we just need to understand these miasmas better and we will be saving lives left and right!_

_ Looking back, it is amazing how far we have come even in the past century. I remember the days you would go to the barber for both a haircut and a surgery. Some even pulled teeth. No wonder it had a tendency to end badly.  _

  
December 25, 1856

_ Hello journal, I’ve finally gotten one of those new fountain pens. One of my patients gave it to me as a Christmas gift, “A thanks for the inconvenience of missing your family for ours.” They said. I thought I would test it out. I must say it is much more convenient than worrying about knocking over my ink pot every time I write.  _

October 28, 1875

_I have become a good doctor. I have many years of practice, learned many new techniques since I started, but it is not enough for me to save many of my patients from the smallpox outbreak that has been going around. My growing number of failures is beginning to affect me emotionally. It has gotten to the point where there are times I can’t even try to treat them anymore. I see the sickness in their eyes and suddenly I’m back in the surrounding towns of London, choking on the air, my hands start to shake and tears come to my eyes.I can’t do it anymore. These attacks exhaust me. Sometimes I hyperventilate to the point where I pass out._

November 5, 1895

_I made yet another mistake. I had a breakdown in front of a patient. It was a case of polio, a disease I have been starting to see more and more of. I went outside quickly, knowing what was coming, and passed out. When I woke up I found some new bruises and my wallet gone. Luckily my plague doctor ring was still around my neck or I fear I would’ve completely lost my mind._

_I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel my mind is no longer here. I now have lost a good amount of the money I saved from my days as a doctor. I know it was idiotic of me to have that much with me but I planned to travel back to Italy as soon as I finished out the month. My attacks had been growing more and more frequent and I thought I would take a break, maybe become a stablehand or sailor again, but I simply cannot find the motivation anymore. I suppose I will still try heading to Italy again, on foot now. I have nowhere else to go and no desire to do anything anymore._

February 28, 1896

_ Hello journal, I am packing again. I’m note going too far this time, but I have been contracted as a general laborer. Manual labor helped me the last time my head was not in a good place so I thought I would try it again. From what I can tell I’ll be working on building the framing for new constructions, the demand for it is growing with more and more people moving into the cities.  _

August 31, 1899

[this entry is nearly illegible] _H_ _ello journal. I smashed my fucking hand today. It hurts like hell. Cut it wide open. I was working on installing a window, and the person who was supposed to be holding it up let it slip from his hands. Me being the idiot I am tried to catch it, and here we are. Do you know how fucking hard it is to give yourself stitches with one hand? Maybe I should become a fucking bricklayer instead._

_ I am sorry, It’s very frustrating-I’ll be out of work for a while now. I’m going to look through what’s left of my medical supplies. I think I might have some morphine still._

November 30, 1903

_ Well journal, I have found myself in quite the awkward situation. Now that some time has passed I am starting to see some humor in it, heh. Long story short, I swear this construction job is determined to kill me. I knew it was a dangerous profession going into it, I tended to my share of construction injuries when I was actively practicing, but-well I don’t know what I thought. That I would just be careful I guess? That those who were injured were just being careless? Lord was I wrong. Anyways, I am certain my employer and co workers think that they saw me meet my end. Honestly I thought I did too. I was working on the scaffolding of fifth floor that morning, it was icy, and I inevitably lost my footing. I remember the fall, then nothing until I woke up freezing in a fucking morgue. The poor mortician passed out on the spot when I got up and asked him the way out.  _

_ Obviously it was quite distressing at the time, but now I’m able to laugh thinking of what that man must’ve thought-particularly since I found myself shirtless with my mark on display. I ended up eh, borrowing a shirt I assume came from another cadaver to get home which I’m not proud of, but what else could I have done?  _

_ This answers one question Ive had since my deal. Evidently I cannot die, and whatever injury caused my ‘death’ will be gone when I wake up. I don’t know if I am relieved or upset about this but I’ll have time to think on it; I’ll have to leave this town soon and I frequently find myself thinking to pass the time during travel.  _

March 3, 1906

_ Hello journal. I found employment with a telegram company in Lugano. I managed to teach myself Morse code and have been working there since. It is a bit tedious, listening to those clicks day in and day out, but it makes me a decent living. I’ve been trying to save up again so that I can leave soon.  _

January 29, 1910

_Hello journal. It’s been a while. I am finally in Italy again, but I ran out of money sooner than I anticipated near the Italian border. I ended up convincing the city to hire me as a ratcatcher. They cannot be picky with who they hire for a job like that. It does not pay much, i can afford enough food to keep myself going but I still find myself on the street again. That is nothing new. I will doubt I’ll be doing this for long though. Eventually they will find out I am simply relocating the rats, not killing them. I don’t think I could ever bring myself to do that.Im even keeping a few with me for companionship._

May, 31, 1910

_ They fired me. I don’t regret it though. The rats did nothing wrong but exist where people did not want them. They did not deserve death. I have food for a few more days but I don’t know where I am going next. I’m sure I’ll find something new to do eventually. I always do.  _

  
  


July 12, 1910

_ I made it to Bologna. I still have a ways to go, but I am nearly back to Florence. I’m lucky I seem to be immune to food poisoning from the sources where I have been finding food for me and my rat from, but I feel my clothes are getting larger as the days go by. I am beginning to wonder if it is even possible for me to starve. At this point I do not not think I would be upset if I could. Everything just feels numb. I feel like I am in a cloud, watching my body wander day after day. I think I am slowly losing my mind.  _


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Copia is found by our scary skull faced Emeritus brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will be switching from journal entries to more of like currently happening format from here out with an occasional journal entry

October was the busy time of year for the Emeritus church. Plans were being made for the yearly party the church threw for its members at the end of the month, tasks were being assigned to those who did their best to avoid them, and today Antonio Emeritus was  _ royally _ pissed off. 

This year, his younger brother Alessandro managed to convince their father, Papa Nihil, the current head of the church, that the party  needed to have ice sculptures. Alessandro, being the suck up that he was, also managed to get himself out of being the one who needed to find a provider for said ice sculptures, which left Antonio with the assignment.  _Ridiculous_ ,  he thought to himself. 

“ _ What a fucking waste _ _._ ”, He muttered as he cranked the engine of the car that the clergy had recently purchased for “official business”, why he did not know, since only a handful of people knew how to dive it anyway. 

“When I am Papa, I am having the ghouls taught to fucking drive”, 

It took a good part of his day to find someone willing and able to provide his brothers  _ stupid  _ ice to the church. Antonio was not looking forward to going back to the church, telling his father how much was being spent and being given another task for the rest of the day.

“ _Fuck it, if anyone asks where I was all day, it took the entire day to find a merchant willing to provide services to the church._ ” It would be believable. He had gone out in his skull paint after all. Not the most friendly of faces to see. In fact, he took pride in his design being intentionally frightening .  He parked the car and relaxed, watching people walk by and entertaining himself by glaring many people as he could to see if he could scare them. 

A small animal running across the street in front of him caught his eye. His eyes followed it across the street and into the alley behind the grocer. “ _ Probably looking for scraps _ ”, he thought. Until he saw it run out again, look around, and run back.  “ _Odd behavior for a rat._ ”,  narrowing his eyes he stepped out of the car with a groan.  “ _This better be interesting_ ,”  he thought as he made his way down the alley after the small rodent. 

The rat was standing on the shoulder of what looked to be the fresh corpse of a man who was nothing more than skin and bones, alternating between making small squeaks at the man whose shoulder he was on and looking at the stranger who followed him.

“Unholy fuck.”

He kneeled and put two fingers to the mans neck, checking if this was truly just the body of a man who met his end by starvation or if if the rat  really was trying to tell him something.

“ _Ah, So you’re not dead, but you should be,_ ”  he thought to himself, feeling a weak pulse.

“Why the hell does the weird shit like this always happen to me,” he spoke under his breath as he tried to wake the man. 

He nearly fell over when the man on the ground cracked open his eyes; one green and one pure white. 

“Who the fuck are you boy?”, The man appeared disoriented for a moment before their eyes met and he jumped up and screamed, only to collapse again a few steps further away, still trying to crawl backwards.

“Can you just- stop and shut up for one second? I am not hurting you. I followed your little friend,” he said gesturing at the rat.  He probably thinks I’m the damn grim reaper. 

The man held up a shaking hand in front of himself in a poor attempt to hide, but the sound of his increasingly heavy breathing would have given him away even if he has been invisible. 

The encounter was a total of less than 30 seconds before the man passed out again. 

Antonio stood, considering his options for a moment before throwing the man over his shoulder and grabbing the small bag the man had with him which the rat had crawled into. 

“You’re lucky you haven’t met our maker yet, boy.” He said to the knocked out man, not excepting a response. 

He wasn’t sure if he was imagining it, or if he actually heard the man speak weakly into his back , “...I ...have.”

Surely his father would have questions. Eyes like theirs did not come naturally. 

“ Please don’t wake up and scream at me in the fucking car”,  he told the man in the event the man could hear him.He set the man in the passenger seat and walk around to get the vehicle started again. As the vehicle roared to life he turned to get a better look at the mystery man.

Wavy unkempt brown hair fell around his face. He had what looked to have what at one point been one of those small pencil mustaches that were just coming into fashion, with thick sideburns that had not been trimmed up in a while either. A small chain hung around his neck, the outline of what looked like a ring under his shirt. He was dressed in what would’ve once been a nice suit. A little outdated, maybe, but a well made suit nonetheless. 

_A shame_ ,  Antonio thought, and started his drive back to the abbey. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papa ii proves he isn’t an asshole

Antonio made it back to the abbey without waking the man again, for which he was grateful. Contrary to popular belief, horrified screaming was _not_ his audio preference. He really wasn’t the cold hearted asshole everyone made him out to be. 

_ Exhibit A,  _ he thought to himself , _this disturbingly light little man he currently had thrown over his shoulder._

He pushed the doors open with his free hand, quickly spotting a ghoul.

“Ghoul, I am taking this man to the infirmary, go find my father- have him meet me there. He will want to see this.”, the ghoul nodded curtly, turning and walking the direction of Papa Nihils office. 

He barged into the infirmary, stalking straight up to the desk, 

“Find him a room. Now. Be prepared with something to calm him in the even he wakes and tries to run.” 

The nurse, wide eyed, nodded quickly and scurried off down the hallway, Antonio still carrying his mystery man in tow.

“Who is he, sir? I do not recognize him as one of ours?” She asked.

They reached the room and Antonio paused to reply before moving to set the man on the bed.

“He is not. He is here because I would like the answer to that question as well. The change in position may wake him, and as far as I can tell he is not in a good mental state. Try not to startle him, I would prefer  not  to have my ears assaulted again today.”

The movement was indeed enough to wake the man. His eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the surroundings. The first thing he felt the heavenly softness of a bed beneath him, something he had not felt in over a year.  _ Where am I? Am I dreaming?  _ He looked around the room slowly and gasped. There was a man standing on one side of him dressed in a 3 piece suit, a black and white skull painted on his face, a nurse on the other.  _ Why does that man seem so familiar? _

His eyes widened. He felt his hands start to shake. What had happened in the alley was coming back to him. He felt panic rising in his chest and made a failed attempt to sit up. Multiple questions came to him at once.  _ Am I in trouble? Is he the owner at the grocer? Why did he bring me here? Where is my Luca?  _

“ I am- I am so sorry, I did not mean- I did not mean to bother you,” the man struggled again to get out of bed, but failed and laid back with a defeated sigh. “I will leave as soon as I am able. I am sorry.” he said in a small voice. The other occupants of the room kept their eyes on him still. It only added to his uneasiness “Or you can throw me back out. It- it does not matter to me. I do not want to cause trouble.” 

Finally the skull painted man spoke, 

“You will stay. I have questions I need answers to.” Antonio watched the man shrink back into the mattress, trying to make himself smaller and felt a twinge of sympathy tug in his chest. He stepped closer with a sigh, putting a hand on the mans shoulder in an attempt at comfort, not acknowledging the flinch it caused. 

“I am not here to bring you harm. You are not in trouble either. I am sure you have noticed my eye is like yours and we need to know why. You have that for a reason.” The man seemed to relax slightly. “Now what is your name?” 

“It’s-it’s Copia. Andrea Copia.”

“Ah, you are Italian too, yes?” 

Copia nodded. 

“Well Andrea, my father should be here soon. Until then I presume you want to know where you are?” 

Another nod. 

Dismissing the nurse with a wave, he sat in the chair next to the bed and continued. 

“Alright. You are in the Emeritus Churches’ infirmary. My family has been in charge of this church for centuries, awarded the position by our dark lord Satan.” He paused, gauging Copias reaction. When he saw the mans eyes widen he knew who must’ve given the man the eye. “You are keeping something you know will be important to us to yourself aren’t you?” 

“I eh...” Copia stuttered, looking down

“Nevermind. But that will need to be answered once my father arrives.” 

There were a few moments of awkward silence before Copia found his voice again.

“Do you- did you possibly see a tan rat when you found me?” 

Antonio nodded his head towards the bag Copia had with him, now hanging from the back of a chair. “I figured you would be looking. You want him?” He stepped over and grabbed the bag, turning to pass over the precious cargo. 

He watched Copias hands shake as he struggled to untie the bag to let the rodent out. It looked like tears were welling in his eyes.  _ Great. He will need to stay for a while it appears. Just because we are followers of the one below does not mean we can turn someone who so obviously needs help out on the street. I’m sure he will be added to my list of shit to keep track of too. At least he seems polite.  _

After watching the other man still struggling with the bag, he reached for the it again with a sigh, gesturing Copia to hand it back to him. He quickly untied the laces and passed it back once again. 

“I’m sorry I- my hands they, eh, they-“ 

Antonio cut him off, “I can see that. Why?” 

The sound of the door opening drew their attention. Nihil chose that moment to arrive. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Copia meets the current head of the church.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one but the next one should be longer.

Copia strained his ears trying to hear what was being said in hushed voices just outside the door. An old man appeared dressed in full cream and red papal regalia, who Copia assumed was the father that was mentioned, had walked in, took one look at Copia, and promptly walked out, calling his son out with him. 

He could hear bits and pieces of the conversation through the door. Mostly the louder voice of the old man. 

“He is not mine Antonio! Do not give me that look!  _So that is is name then_.  “The hell do you mean you ‘found him’, boy?” “Fine. Does he like candies?” 

The door opened and the two men re-entered the room, Copia’s eyes following them as they took a seat on either side of him. 

The old man addressed him first “Antonio says you are flighty. Take some candies,” he offered a handful of hard candies with a shrug, ignoring Copias baffled expression. 

Copia hesitantly accepted the candies with a quiet thank you, clutching them tightly as to not drop them from his still trembling hands. 

“Antonio also tells me you have something important you aren’t telling us and I actually _agree_ with him this time. You are not  my  son, and none of my sons have sons, so you are not  their  son, so who the hell are you, boy?” 

“I am Andrea Copia-I was, I just wanted to go home.” 

It was Antonio’s turn to speak,

“Don’t play a fool. He means where did you get the eye, Andrea? You know that isn’t natural. _We_ know it isn’t natural.” He gestured at his own white eye. 

“You can tell us the truth. We run a Satanic church, for fucks sake. We aren’t going to burn you at the stake for doing whatever the _hell_ you did for that eye, we just want to know why you have it. Our Dark Lord doesn’t give things without a price. You having it means _something_ and we need to know what.”His patience for the day was wearing thin. 

Copia thought for a moment before trying to calm his breathing with a deep breath in and out, steeling himself to admit what he was once again. 

“Alright.” he took another deep breath, “I was a priest. The members of my congregation were- they were dying of the plague, and I was right there with them. It was my fault. I’ve always been-I’ve always been a screw up.” 

He tried to hide the crack in his voice with a cough before continuing. 

“I was dead or dying-to this day I do not know which- and I heard a voice.” 

He paused for a moment, the remarkable sound of the voice still at the forefront of his memory, where it would likely stay forever. 

“It was the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard and it offered to fix my mistakes, to save the poor souls I had condemned to death. I accepted and was assigned to role of Pestilence. When I woke up I had this” he gestured at his eye. 

There was a moment of silence between the 3 of them before Nihils loud voice overpowered the room.

“A true devotee to our lord! A visit from a horseman! I need to go tell seestor,” Nihil laughed loudly and Copia’s brow furrowed, confused at the mans reaction. He felt the old man give him a rough smack on the shoulder before he left. _That is not at all the reaction I expected._ He thought to himself, bewildered. 

Antonio asked his question next,

“You said during the  plague? The _bubonic plague_? The most recent wave was several hundred years ago, was in not?” 

“You heard correctly, yes.” Copia admitted softly, wishing the conversation would end. 

“You are much older than you look then. So am I. Not as old as you, but older than you think. That is an explanation for another day.I’ll come by again tomorrow. I have to finish arrangements for my  _fucking fratellinos_ party. Try not to give the nurse a heart attack with that rat.” 

Copia laid awake for hours, his mind on overdrive, before sleep took him again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also if ive missed any important tags for the story or if anyone would like me to add any tags or warnings or anything please let me know, I’m horrible at thinking of everything that may need tagging and I don’t want to bother anyone.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The youngest brother makes an entrance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, apologies for formatting/historical errors etc

A short scream echoed through the quiet early morning hours in hallways of the church. 

Copia woke up, gasping for breath, now a normal occurrence for him- his life had been hundreds of years of nightmare fuel after all.Today’s was about a young girl he had treated who fell victim to the cholera outbreak, her voice singing the old plague rhyme that haunted him: “ _ring-a-ring of rosies..._ ” 

_ I need to get the out of this room. Better yet, I need to get out of this place before I overstay my welcome.  _

He pulled the IV drip the nurse had put in the previous night.  _They are very up to date on their medical practices, it seems._ From what he could tell, it was supposed to be some form of nutrition. It had been so long since he had eaten his body would probably not be able to tolerate much real food. Slowly rising from the bed to give the dizziness time to subside, he made his way towards the door and down the hallway. 

Quietly he stood and watched as yet another man with yet another pattern of skull paint stood, leaning against the nurses counter, flirting with the nurse there. 

_ That must be another of the old mans sons. Was this the one Antonio was angry with? How many brothers are there, I wonder? Most importantly, how can I get past them without them noticing?  _

Copia slowly began walking again, holding out hope that if he moved slow enough they somehow wouldn’t see him. 

“Mr. Copia, where are you going?”, the sound of his name making him jump and nearly lose his balance.  Ah, shit. 

“I was just eh- leaving?” He offered, but it came out more like a question than the statement he was going for. 

“Papa Nihil and Antonio gave me strict orders not to allow that sir, and you shouldn’t have taken out that IV either.” 

Copia let out a sigh and turned, making the walk back to room, feeling a mismatched set of eyes on his back the whole way. Not a minute after he went back to the room, the door opened again. This time, it was the brother from the nurses station. 

“So you are my brothers stray, eh?” A gloved hand brushed his raven locks back in place. 

Copia was somewhat surprised at the velvety voice that came out of the man. It was much different than his brothers more gruff way of speech. 

“What’s wrong? Cat got you’re tongue? Or should I say rat?,” he eyed the tan rat Luca who had curled in Copias lap. 

“I just-,” Copia started.

“No matter, I get it. You have the...” his hand made a circular motion in the air as though he wanted Copia to fill in. “The anxiety, yes?” He filled in himself after a moment of Copia staring silently at him. 

“I’m sorry- I just- I am not feeling up to telling the story again, I-,” 

“That is alright, I can talk enough for the both of us. Do not worry! They don’t call me talkative Terzo for nothing, eh? Let me do the talking.” Copia sat bewildered as the man had a whole conversation nearly on his own. 

“Is that your name?” 

“No, no, my name is Alessandro,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Everyone just calls me Terzo, because I am my fathers third son and my real name sounds much too long for... most situations” he said with a chuckle. Copia wondered if there was a joke he had missed somewhere. 

_ That means there is at least one more brother then, that I have not yet seen. If I am here long enough to meet him I hope he is less... overwhelming.  _

He looked up to find Terzo looking expectantly at him. 

“Did you hear what I just said, Copia? 

“Eh, no, I’m sorry. Did you ask me a question?” 

“I  said you smell, and I am going get you a different clothes to wear, yes? Maybe bathe?”, he leaned closer and whispered scandalously:  “If I were you, I would ask the beautiful sister at the desk for some  help in the bath too,” he stepped back and headed to the door, laughing at his own advice.

———

It took several minutes for Copia to process the whirlwind that was Terzo, and several more for it to occur to him what _exactly_ he had meant by his last comment. He felt his face flush. 

Bathing did sound nice though. He couldn’t remember when he last was able to wash with anything other than cold rain. He stood and made his way to the bathroom attached to the room.  _ Whatever they put in that IV must have helped,  _ he thought when he realized he had the strength to have been walking about on his own.

Sinking into the warm water of the bath had never felt so good. The months of dirt and tension he could feel melting into the water. Copia sighed and closed his eyes, deciding to think on his options for the situation he was in. He knew he needed help both mentally and physically, that much was obvious. It would not do him any good to try to leave in his current state. He had seen his haunted reflection in the mirror just moments ago. The dark bags under his eyes so pronounced they may as well have been drawn on with kohl added to his current skeleton like appearance. He felt each rib as he ran the bar of soap over his skin, wincing at the state in which he had become. Even if he did leave he knew he would not make it far. It was hard enough for him to find employment when he looked like a healthy able man, who would hire a walking skeleton whose hands never seem to cease the trembling anymore?

The members of the Emeritus family he had met so far came to mind. They seemed to think they were more scary than they actually were. So far even the old man Copia had determined was Papa Nihil didn’t seem all that bad, he had expected him to be stern and intimidating even more so than his son, not for him to pull hard candies seemingly out of the air then go right into a heavy question about his past. If everyone who called this abbey home was as kind as the few he met so far, maybe staying until he could recover at least would not be so bad. He leaned his head back on the side of the tub and dozed. 

A loud knock on the door awoke him, the voice of Terzo coming easily through wood.

“I brought clothes!”, another series of knocks, “Are you not hearing me again, Copia?” More knocks. 

Copia briefly considered ignoring him until he went away before rising and wrapping himself with a towel. He was kind enough to bring him the clean garments to wear, it would be rude to ignore him. 

“Yes, yes, coming, coming.” He groaned, making his way to the door. 

Cracking the door open, he reached an arm around to take the proffered items, quickly pulling them in a shutting the door with a quiet “thank you.” Striding over the the small counter he laid out what he was given. There were sure hang off his frame in his current state. He stepped into the undergarments Terzo had brought him. 

_ Are these his?  He wondered.  Better than nothing I suppose. Beggars can’t be choosers. _

He managed to tie the pair of simple black trousers on tight enough to stay on his hips, grateful that Terzo had the forethought to find him tie front trousers versus the button up style. The white poets shirt was proving to be more of a challenge. The deep neckline would make it very easy for the mark on his chest to be revealed, which concerned him. It was also the complete opposite of his normal choices in clothing would’ve been but he thought again,  _ beggars can’t be choosers _ , with a shrug. He looked up at himself in the mirror and brushed his mousy brown hair back into the slicked back style he had kept it for at least a century as best he could. It had grown a bit longer than he was used to, but it was still manageable.  _Perhaps I could ask for a pair of scissors, and a razor_ , he added as an afterthought, seeing the state of his normally neatly trimmed facial hair. He had to admit, had he not still looked like a hollowed out skeleton, the clothes would good on him; the new style turned out to be a welcome change. He tucked the plague doctor ring around his neck under the laces of the shirt once more, took a deep breath, and reached for the door. He had a suspicion Terzo would be waiting for him in the room. 

“Ah! You look good,” Terzo announced, clapping his hands together. “I have a good fashion sense, no?”

“I-eh, yes? Thank-“

“I knew it! Now.” He pulled a straight razor from his pocket, shoving it into Copias hands, “Go fix your ah...”, he gestured at his face “You look like a beggar.” A pause, “I have realized that you were, but not anymore, eh? We take care of you now.” He shooed Copia back towards the bathroom, giving him his signature winning smile. 

“Thank you, I was going to ask but I-Thank you.” He went back to the mirror.

_ Can he read minds?  _ Copia thought, looking at the razor in his hand before bringing it to his face, starting the work of quickly bringing his normal sideburns and mustache back into shape. With a final look to make sure he got everything even he went back out once more, fully cleaned up and feeling much better. 

“I cannot thank you enough for the help you and your church have given.” He said, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. 

“No, no no, it is nothing.” His eyes went up and down Copia, as an artist would look over a now finished project. “The nurse said she is going to put the IV back on when I finished with you. Don’t make a face, it helped you, yes?” He stood and left the room, presumably to find the nurse. 

It was not long before the nurse returned and made short work of replacing the IV he had removed that morning. Terzo had mysteriously disappeared, Copias best guess was that he found a new focus for his attention. He seemed to be one to be easily distracted. Glad to have some quiet time to himself again he pet Luca for a few minutes before deciding to reach for his bag. He pulled out his journal and pen, preparing to write again. It always helped to clear his mind.

  
October 19, 1910

_ Hello journal, _

_ I haven’t been able to write in a good while. I have been wandering from alley to alley to find food for Luca for months. Although it turns out I cannot starve to death if I do not eat, Luca can and I would not do that to him. He is here with me now, watching me write from my shoulder.  _

_My life will be taking a new direction soon, I think. I was found by the son of a leader of a satanic church yesterday. Although they do ask uncomfortable_ _questions, they have been very kind to me here. For some reason, I trust them. I told the head of the church, Papa Nihil, and his son, Antonio that I am to be a horseman. They seemed more excited than anything, which confuses me. Antonio also implied they are not eh, subject to the same constraints of time as everyone else i have known have been. I do not know how old they are, but Antonio was not all that shocked when I told him my year of birth. He just said “you’re older than you look” if I remember correctly. I’ve found out that Papa Nihil has at least 3 sons, I met the third earlier today. He just left a few minutes ago, actually. Of those I have met, he seems the most... outgoing. He was nice enough to bring me a change of clothes and a razor and I was able to clean myself up enough to feel like a person again. He talks to me like we have been friends for years, and although it is a bit overwhelming, it is actually comforting; it makes me feel welcome, like I am not such a burden on these people. I will leave you for now, I have a feeling either Terzo or Antonio will be back._

Copia closed the journal, slipping it back into the bag and laying back against the mattress, careful to not to crush Luca. He closed his eyes letting sleep take over, already exhausted from the mornings activities. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unless you are immortal, don’t get drunk in a hospital bed, and even if you are it’s probably not a good idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is my favorite chapter of the story that I’ve written so far tbh, and as always apologies for formatting errors/historical inaccuracies etc.

Antonio stepped out of his fathers office, having just got around to reporting his ice sculpture arrangements from yesterday. As expected, his father was _not_ happy with the cost, and somehow it was  _ his  _ fault the  _ fucking sculptures  _ were so expensive. 

“You have to negotiate, boy!” His father says. “You cannotjust take any price!” Nevermind the issue of how hard it is to find someone willing to cater to a  Satanic church. 

He was also assigned the task of pulling the rest of Andrea’s story from him, which was also  _ exactly _ what he expected. He shoved his way through the infirmary doors with a huff. 

“Well good afternoon to you as well Antonio, whats the problem today?” The nurse challenged, not appreciating his door slamming antics. 

“My _fucking_ father is, what do you think? I swear he acts like Alessandro is  _ my  _ son and not  _his_.”  He replied without even stopping on his way to the room Andrea was in. 

“He’s not awake, you know. I just changed out his IV bag a few minutes ago. Maybe should calm down before you try and talk to him too, flighty thing.” The nurse called after him. She was lucky he has years to go before he becomes Papa, he _did not_ care for people telling him what to do. 

He quietly stepped into the room, not wanting to startle the man in the event he had awoken. The first thing he noticed was the change in his appearance since the night before. 

_Alessandro must’ve found him_ _if the clothes are any indication_ ,  He thought to himself.Andrea had apparently shaved and washed as well, thankfully, the smell was not at all pleasant yesterday. He watched the slow rise and fall of the mans chest- he looked much more at peace than he was yesterday, rat curled on his chest and all. Maybe the nurse was right, he would come back later after he let off some steam. He turned and stepped back out of the room. 

“Your brother just went in a moment ago, he is sleeping, or he _was_ sleeping.” The voice of the nurse audible now that the door was open. 

“Ah, no big deal, I can be quiet, eh?”  So it was Alessandro. 

Antonio stepped into view, “She is correct. He is asleep. You would do well not to wake him, I’m sure he needs the rest.” He noticed his brother was carrying a bag of lord knows what with him that he was sure to be going to pester Andrea with, “And what the hell is in that bag?” 

“It is nothing, nothing, nothing at all. Not yours to worry about, yes? Go be angry somewhere else,  _stronzo_.” His brother teased. 

“Don’t mind if I do,  _fratellino_.”  He replied, proceeding to the infirmary doors and feeling smug. Alessandro hated being called little  _anything_.

———

Copia woke, he was not sure how much later, feeling much more rested. He reached up to stretch his muscles and nearly jumped out of his skin. Terzo was sitting, arms crossed, staring at him expectantly. 

“Copia! Were you not hearing me again? We have the nurse check your ears, yes? Terzo asked sternly, brows furrowed. 

_ Is he serious? Did he think I was awake? Is he upset with me?  _ He could feel his hands start to shake. 

“ I-I am so sorry, I was- I was asleep, I did not mean-,” He trailed off when Terzo broke out laughing hard enough to bring tears to his eyes. 

“Hey, hey, calm down, calm down, I was simply fucking with you,” he chuckled and reached over, putting a gloved hand on Copias arm when he noticed how badly his hands were shaking.

“I was fucking with you, it’s alright, it’s alright, ok?” He spoke softly, nodding and now feeling a bit guilty-he had meant to scare him, but not scare him _that_ badly. 

Copia took a moment to try to slow his breathing and still his hands. 

“I’m sorry, I know I eh, ...overreact.” He reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, taking another shaky breath. 

“I am here because I brought a surprise.” Terzo changed the subject and grinned as he held up the bag he had brought with him. He pushed the rooms’ small table over between the chair he had been using and the bed, and proceeded to set out two wine glasses along with several bottles of wine. “Come, come, scoot over here, choose one,” he gestured to the selection he had brought. 

“I am not sure I should be-“ Copia trailed off, looking at the IV still in his arm and back to skull painted man in confusion. 

“Nonsense, it is just vitamins, you’ll be fine, I looked it up.” Terzo assured him with confidence. 

He decided not to ask  _ where _ he looked it up, or exactly  _ what  _ he looked up, all the bottles of wine on the table were of _very_ high quality. Even if Terzo was wrong, it’s not as though enjoying some good wine would kill him; even if he did end up spending the night trying to hold everything in his stomach. He slid himself over to the side of the bed, unsure but curious of what went through the other mans mind to bring this on. 

“How long had you been there?” 

“Ah, An hour, maybe two. I do not know.” He shrugged. 

“Eh...why? I’m sorry I kept you waiting but, do you not- did you not have anywhere else you needed to be?” 

“I did not, I do what I want, who I want, the others-they do not mind. I think we should be friends, yes?” It took Copia a moment for Copia to process the new subject, so he took the opportunity to fill both of their glasses. 

“I- if you wish to, that would be alright with me.” He could use a friend, and at least he would not to worry about filling the silence, he thought. He took a small sip of the wine, reveling in the taste. It had been a long time since he had such good wine. 

“Great! Great!” The sudden movement of Terzo throwing his arms in the air surprised him. “So tell me, life story?” Copias widened, mismatched eyes met those of his new ‘friend’ after nearly choking on the next sip of wine. “What? They said you are a horseman, no? There should be plenty of interesting things to tell?” 

“I do not like to talk about it. It is- it is hard for me. Bad memories.” He took another sip of wine, he had a feeling it would be a long night. 

“Ah, when you are ready, you say.” A pause.   


“Well if you cannot tell me yours, I will tell you mine, do we have a deal?”

Relieved, Copia nodded, “I am all ears.” Hopefully he would reveal more about this place. 

“Okie dokie! So. My name is Alessandro Emeritus, as you know. I am...” he appeared to do some mental math, “I am 63 years old, yes-I know I do not look it, but you see, that is a perk of being part demon, eh? Veeeeery slow aging, sí?” 

Copia froze, unsure if he heard correctly, “ Part  _demon_?”  What- what do you mean part _demon_? How is that- is that even possible?” 

Terzo laughed at the confusion on Copias face, then leaned in as close as he could with the table between them and whispered, “My father is a demon-fucker!” He leaned back chuckling again at the expression on Copias face; his eyes looked like they were seconds away from falling out of his head. 

“You mean that there are demons here,” he gestured vaguely around the room, “...physically here? Are you saying your mother is-,” 

“A succubus, yes. My brothers and I, we are are the same. And there are creatures from hell in this building, right here, right now! You will meet them soon enough. Anyway, our family has been the head of the church since... _forever_ , so we get this,” he pointed at his eye, “at birth, a gift to signify our dedicating our lives to the dark lord. Soon my father will retire and my brother Primo will become Papa, then Seco , then eventually me, so I am important, very important! When I become Papa, maybe a hundred years from now, I will bring more followers than any other!” He laughed again. “And there you have it, my life story!” He finished, clapping his hands together and downing his glass of wine in one gulp.

“Eh, Terzo, you just told me when you were born, the rest of that was more about your father and brothers? What do you-what do you do right now, before you become Papa? Did you grow up here or- or in hell or wherever an ahhh ...succubus? lives?” Copia watched as he refilled both of their glasses. 

“I grew up here, the succbi go back to hell, and until we become Papa, my brothers and I, we help with sermons, translating old Latin to english or Italian for our congregation to read, throw parties, spend our nights with the siblings here at the church, and whatever else we want really. Oh!”, his face lit up as he remembered something, “We are having our big party at the end of the month. It is a sight to see! It has to be when  _ I  _ am involved with the planning, eh? Do you like parties? Drinking, dancing...” he did a little shimmy in his seat. 

Copia tried to recall if he had even been to a party in the past century. Memories of the balls that Anne’s family had held surfaced, but nothing in recent years. He took another drink, it really was good wine. Terzo must have noticed his eyes darken and answered his own question.

“Ah, not a party person, understandable, understandable.” He gave another dismissive wave and watched Copia finish what was left his second glass of wine in one go. He wondered how long it would take for the effects of the wine to set in, it couldn’t take much for a man with no meat on him to get drunk. He refilled Copias glass again anyway but cautioned him, “Copia, pace yourself maybe? You don’t have much eh... mass right now, you know?” 

“I’ll be fine.” Truthfully, he was _hoping_ to drink enough that once Terzo started asking questions he did not want to answer he would be numb, or at least too drunk for his mind to keep him awake that night. 

“If you say so,” said with a sigh, looking the other man over before he quickly reached over and pulled the chain out of Copias shirt. “So tell me, what is this? You say you the memory of back then bothers you, but you wear a plague mask? Why?” He cocked his head as he let the other man go, “I mean, I won’t make you tell me of course, but sometimes it helps to talk, no?” 

“You’re right.” He swallowed and unclasped the chain sliding the ring off for the first time in over a hundred years. He ran his fingers over the familiar shape before passing it to Terzo.“It was a gift,” he took a deep breath and nervously carded his fingers through his hair before continuing, “from my ex-fiancé.” 

“You were engaged?”   
  


“For a brief, wonderful moment, yes. I was.” He took the ring back, looking into the eyes of the mask. “I had given her a hairpin for Christmas, and she gave me this. She must’ve seen me looking at it in the shop, though I was looking at it for a very different reason than she thought.” A small smile crossed his face at the memory of that night. 

“Did you love her?” 

“Wha- Of course I did! She was the world to me! She was-she was beautiful, outgoing, smart, _everything that I am not_ , we were a perfect pair!” 

“Did she love you?”

“Yes, why are you asking me this? I would not have asked her to fucking marry me if she did not!” Copias voice rose. 

“I do not understand. If you love her, she love you, she say yes, she would be your wife now, no?” Terzo asked in confusion with his head cocked to the side, one eyebrow raised.

He looked down at the ring in his hands sadly, “She stopped loving me. I confessed to her what I was, and she stopped loving me.” His hand came up to wipe away those  _ stupid  _ tears that came every time the memory was brought up. “I had thought, maybe if she loved me enough to marry me, she would understand. I was wrong.” He paused, waiting for voice to allow him to speak again. He was grateful that Terzo had the decency not to interrupt.

“I taught her to ride. Not sidesaddle, like the ladies would if they ever did ride. No, no she did not want that.” He shook his head as a small chuckle fell from his lips before he continued. “I was a stable boy at her fathers estate in Rouen, so we would sneak out every night that the weather permitted, and we would ride to the creek at the far side of the property. Sometimes I would surprise her with a small picnic of a cake or cookie if I could get one. She was-,” he considered if he wanted to disclose this- maybe it was the wine but he thought  _ fuck it, Ive already told him this much _ . “She gave me my first kiss at that creek, and the kiss we shared the moment she said yes will probably be my last.” By now he had given up attempting to hide his tears, letting them run freely down his face before wiping them away with a quick “I’m sorry.” 

Terzo surprised him again by moving himself over to sit next to him on the bed, throwing an arm over his shoulder and pulling him close. “That _bitch_!” he said before giving Copia a rough pat with the hand that was around his shoulder. “No tears, no tears,she did not deserve you anyway, eh?” 

“Im sorry,” he wiped at his face again, “I should have gotten over it by now, it was centuries ago, I guess speaking about it just... brought everything up” 

“Ah, it is ok, feelings are feelings, no? Doesn’t matter when.” He shrugged. “Hey, why didn’t you tell me I have been hanging out with a reeeeally fucking old man all day, eh?” 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief tour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always apologies for formatting/historical errors etc.  
> thanks for reading!

October 23, 1910

_ Good morning, journal. I find myself growing restless being in this room. Luckily for me, the nurse said I will be well enough to do as I please tomorrow, be it stay at this church or leave. It’s been a few days since the night I spent spilling to Terzo. He’s been sharing his lunch with me every day since; The food the church serves isn’t “exquisite enough” for his tastes he says, so he does not finish it, and I still do not eat much so it works out. I am beginning to think he was being serious when he said he wanted to be friends, heh. Honestly, I’m surprised he still wants to be around me after his older brother came in that night and found us drunk with me crying on his shoulder. Let’s just say Antonio has a...very good set of lungs, and I’m glad his wrath was not directed at me.  _

_ I haven’t yet been able to make up my mind if I wish to be apart of a church again yet, but I must say I have been treated very well and it is nice to feel that I have friends here. I will let you go, Antonio said he would come down and give me a tour of the grounds before I need to go speak with Papa Nihil and make a decision to stay here or go my own way.  _

Copia had just finished slipping his journal back into his bag and was debating asking if Luca could come along for the tour when Antonio arrived, this time bare faced. Copia stared for a moment before he realized who it was. He stood quickly, eager to get out of the room.

“Morning Antonio, you’re- you’re looking well,” he trailed off. “I assumed your family always wears the eh, paint. Forgive me for not recognizing you right away.” 

“Usually, but not always.” Came the short reply. “Let’s go.” 

“Would it be alright if Luca comes with me? I don’t want to-,” 

“Yes, fine. Just mind the ghouls, they sometimes go after small animals if they don’t recognize them.” 

Copias brow furrowed. “What do you-“ 

“You will see soon enough.” 

As they made their way through the halls, Copia craned his neck every which way trying to take in the grand scale of the building. Towering arches filled with stained glass lined the walls. Large black and white tiles covered the floors, with long red and gold rugs running down the halls from end to end. 

“It really is beautiful here.” He said quietly, mostly to himself. 

“These passageways are nothing. The main worship hall is better.” Copia had to jog a little to catch up before they reached the door of said worship hall. He watched as Antonio backed into the door, pushing it open then nodding his head inside, silently instructing Copia to enter. 

He was sure he must’ve looked like an idiot standing, mouth agape, taking it in. Three huge stained glass windows soared above a stage at the front of the hall. Beneath them stood a large pipe organ which dwarfed the one he played briefly back at the abbey he grew up in. There were a multitude of ornate candelabras filled with tall black candles on both sides of the room. 

Antonio’s voice cut through the silence, “Beautiful isn’t it?” 

“It’s-it’s amazing, I can only imagine how it looks during mass.”, he paused and turned back to the door, worried that he just mistakenly used the incorrect terminology, “Is it-is it even called mass here?” 

“Yes. Mass, or Black Mass is held at midnight. You are welcome to attend. I will be leading tonight’s prayers.” 

Copia took a moment to consider before replying “I will be there. Thank you.” 

“No need. Let’s move on.” He turned and continued his swift pace to their next destination leaving Copia to jog after him once again. 

The tour took them a large portion of the morning. So far they had been through the kitchens and cafeteria, the buildings which contained the siblings’ dorms, the hallway which housed the upper clergy offices, and now were on the way to the eldest Emeritus’ brothers gardens. Copia tried his best to keep a map of the grounds in his mind- it would be embarrassingly easy to get lost. As they turned a corner he caught sight of a man in skull paint who was working on trimming a rose bush. 

“His name is Guillermo, but he hates to be called that. He prefers Primo, so you would be wise to use that name instead.” Antonio advised him as they approached. 

The man noticed his new visitors and straightened. “Hello Antonio, Andrea,” he gave a nod to each. “You can call me Primo. It is nice to meet you.” His voice was gentle and something about it was calming. He was the polar opposite of his youngest brother, Copia noted. 

“It is good to finally meet you as well,” 

Primo looked Copia over briefly, “We are in need of an organist, you know. I will soon be ascending, and will need time to train a replacement. For the more important masses at least.”

Seeing the bewildered look on Copias face Antonio chuckled, simply saying, “Well Andrea, I think you have found yourself a job should you decide to stay.” 

“Yes, there is that empty room on fourth floor, it is small, but you would not have to share. I’ll ask the ghouls to prepare it for you. If you’ll excuse me, I have to finish these-,” he gestured broadly at the corner of the garden, “before we lose daylight. The two of you should go on and speak with father. I’ll see you at mass tonight.” 

The two men retreated back to the building, Antonio leading the way towards the churches library, the final stop on their tour. “So you’ve met the family, all that is left are the ghouls. They are the ones in various masks you’ve seen around the abbey today. I’m actually surprised you did not ask about them yet.” 

“I eh, assumed they were just people masked for religious reasons?” 

“And you assumed their tails were for religious reasons as well?”

“Their  _ what _ ? Did you say  _tails_? ” He certainly didn’t  _ notice  _ those he saw having tails, but truth be told he was looking more at the building than its inhabitants. If he had been paying more attention he would surely have also noticed the amount of curious stares he was getting from the siblings who they passed by a long the way. 

“They are demons so yes, they have tails. Most are tied to a certain element with the exception of the aether ghouls, and have some power over their respective elements, so do  not fuck with a fire ghoul if you are near anything flammable. They can and will light things on fire and most are _not_ allowed in here,” he pushed open the library door, “for that reason.” 

Copia did not actually hear the end of the sentence, his mind tuning him out to process the abbey’s seemingly endless library. “Oh my god, this is almost as expansive as the library back at Basel!” He murmured, amazed. 

“I do not know what the hell you are referring to, but yes, we do have an expansive collection of texts. Most of it is in Latin, which much of the congregation cannot read anymore so it just collects dust and my  _ fucking father _ will do nothing about it so it will stay that way.” 

“I will do it.” 

Surprised, Antonio turned to him, eyebrows raised. “You’ve made your decision then?” 

He nodded, clenching his hands together into a fist in front of him to hide their subtle shaking, “I will stay if your church will have me.” 

“Good. We need to inform my father then.” He abruptly turned to the door, Copia once again jogging after him to catch up. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tour part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever write something and have no memory of actually doing it? Apparently I do. 
> 
> Same as before apologies for formatting/historical errors etc

The talk with Papa Nihil had gone relatively smoothly. After only a small argument about the state of the library it was decided that Copia would be hired to help with the translations. French texts would be first since he was the only one who could read them after having spent so long in the country. He would also begin shadowing Primo a couple of times a week to begin to learn the parts to play for masses. 

N ow on their third flight of stairs, he and Antonio were making their way to the room that would become his new home for the foreseeable future. 

“Do these stairs get any easier?” Copia panted. 

“You could be sharing a room with a  ghoul who would make a snack out of that rat of yours on the first floor, do not complain.” 

“Right.” He looked down and nodded, “Right.” 

Finally reaching the top of the stairs and the far end of the hall, Antonio pointed to the door on the left.

“That will be yours. I’m sure you’ll find what you need, Primo should have had time to have the ghouls prepare it. If you need anything else, _do not_ ask me.” He turned and stalked off back down the hall, seemingly having had enough of niceties for the day. 

Copia cautiously pushed open the door and slowly stepped inside, looking around at what would be his new home. It was very similar to his dorm at Basel had been it seemed. A bed, a desk, a small kitchen area, and he was relieved to see it had its own bathroom as well. The walls were all a dark stone with the exception of the wall separating the bathroom which upon inspection Copia determined was plaster. There was a large window with glass coming to a pointed arch on the wall on the far side of the bed. 

He scanned the room for a clock with no luck, and moved to set down the bag he carried his journal in on the small desk, putting the contents into the drawers. The sun was beginning to set and the light from the window was fading by the minute. 

_ I need to find out what time it is.  _

He went to the window and found that luckily, the abbeys clock tower was visible. 

_8:00 pm_ ,  he thought  I should have time to take a small nap before tonight’s mass. _Wouldn’t look good to fall asleep during my first one, eh?_

He kicked off his worn shoes and laid down with a flop, Luca curling up next to him shortly after. He was out nearly before his head touched the pillow. 

—

Copia woke with a jolt, with the wrinkles of the pillow indented into his face. 

_Fuck_ ,  he thought.  Did I oversleep? 

He jumped up, rushing to the window. If he was lucky the moon would shed enough light to read the clock. 

_ 11:43. Shit.  _ He gave himself a glance in the bathroom mirror. To his dismay, the clothes he had been wearing had gotten just as wrinkled as his skin had from sleeping on them. 

_ Fucking hell. I can’t go looking like a total slob. _

He tore around the room, frantically looking for the only other shirt he had: the white poet shirt Terzo had brought him the second day he was there. Locating it on the desk with his bag still, he quickly threw it on, pulling the laces at the front as tight as he could and decided the pants would just have to do before taking off down the stairs. 

He made it just in time, finding a seat on the furthest pew from the front. 

Everyone quieted as Antonio strode down the isle, dressed in black cassock, biretta perched on his head, and a dark emerald sash around his waist. He was swinging a thurible on a long chain and the smell of incense filled the the room. Copia watched in wonder as the gruff man he had known so far commanded the attention of the inhabitants of the room without even trying. He gave a passionate sermon about the teachings of the Old One, his voice carrying clearly to every corner of hall. He spoke of the Dark Lords acceptance and the importance of having the freedom to follow ones wishes without being caught up worried about the judgement of the rest of society. 

“Do _not_ forget,” The volume of his voice briefly rose, bringing the audiences attention to make his final point. “Our church is a haven for all who need it, no matter the background. If they are willing to stay, we will be here to help. Now. I’m sure many of you have seen our newest resident over the past few days. He will one day hold an important role the future of our religion, so he _will_ be treated with respect.” The man glared around the room.

Copia’s stomach dropped. His felt his hands begin to shake and his heart race increase. 

_Please don’t be talking about me_ ,  he begged in his mind, though he knew he was the one Antonio was referring to. 

“Copia, come up.” Antonio looked right at him and the rest of the congregations eyes followed. He heard nothing but his blood rushing in his ears as he stood, robotically walking to stand next to the other man. 

“Please welcome Mr. Andrea Copia, who has been chosen for the role of the Horseman Pestilence and brought to us by our Dark Lord.” Antonio must have noticed Copias eyes glaze over as he began to sway. “You are all dismissed.” He addressed the crowd before bringing an arm over the smaller mans shoulders in effort to keep him upright, steering him towards the small room to the side of the stage. 

“Andrea.” No response.

“ _Andrea_.” He tried again. The man must’ve been lost in his own head. He felt a bit guilty for springing it on the man, but an introduction had to be done.

“ _** Copia ** _ ,” he tried a third time and watched as the other mans eyes came back into focus, now looking at him. 

“I-I’m s-sorry, I wasn’t expect-“

“It’s fine. It’s over. They are gone. It had to be done or you would’ve had siblings chasing after you day in and day out hounding you with questions, you understand?” 

“Y-yes. I’m sorry I’m-“ he gestured at his clothes, now worried he should’ve been better prepared. 

“Andrea. It’s fine. They don’t care. Ask my brother to take you with him next time he decides to go  _ frivolously  _ spending the churches money, have him use it for something useful instead for once. Now get some sleep. Your work starts tomorrow.” He spoke as he hung the cassock and biretta back on their hooks. Copia did not need to be told twice. He stood scurried back to his room. 

Winded from climbing the stairs, Copia went into the bathroom and splashed his face with water, attempting to calm his still racing mind. 

“Fucking idiot,” he murmured under his breath as he ran his hands down his face and shook his head before splashing his face again. He stood over the sink, elbows on the counter waiting to catch his breath. Whether it took just a few seconds or several minutes he wasn’t sure. Once he finally got his heart rate under control he straightened and ran his fingers through his hair, brushing back the locks that had fallen in his face. 

Deciding he would see if writing would help calm him, he walked over and took a seat at the desk, the chair emitting a small creak under his weight. He pulled his journal and pen out of the drawer and began to write.

October  ~~ 23 ~~ 24, 1910

_ Hello journal. Im sorry about the handwriting but I’m sure you are used to it by now with the frequency my hands shake. Today- well yesterday now that it has passed midnight, was an eventful day.  _

_ As I said earlier, Antonio came to show me around the place. It is beautiful. The hall where they hold mass is the largest I have ever seen, and they have a huge organ that I will be starting to play. Speaking of, I met the eldest brother in his gardens today. Evidently he is an avid gardener and has quite the green thumb, if you had eyes to see his garden you would understand. There were more types of flowers and plants there than I’ve seen my whole life, and that is saying something, you know.  _

_Guillermo, or Primo as he prefers to be called is the complete opposite of Terzo. Quiet. His voice has a strangely soothing quality to it as well-I think I would enjoy sitting in the next time he leads mass. What made me uneasy about him is how he spoke to me, saying things I have no earthly idea how he would’ve known. I never told him my name for one, but that I can at least attribute to his family_ _talking amongst themselves since his brothers and father knew my name already._

_ What was most peculiar was the second thing he said to me. He looked me up and down, then told me that they would be in need of a replacement organist soon. I have not played since I was back at the abbey I grew up in. I didn’t tell Antonio I played when I saw the organ in the chapel, and at least I don’t think I mentioned me playing to Terzo.  _

_ Not only that but he seemed to know of my decision to stay before I did myself. He had ghouls, who are another story I need to tell you, prepare the room I am in now before I actually agreed to stay. The more I think about it the more uncomfortable it makes me. What else does he know? How does he know? _

_Another worrisome fact I learned is that the beings I had thought were just people who wore masks for their religious beliefs are actually not people at all. These are the ghouls. Antonio explained that they are literal elemental demons that were summoned to serve the church, horns and tails and all, here, walking the earth in the flesh. I was also told they will eat small animals and I am honestly not sure if he was being serious or just messing with me. I’m worried what would happen should Luca ever get out. I’ll have to be very careful._   
  


_I just made it back to my room a few minutes before starting to write this from attending my first service at this church. It was beautiful. Antonio led the mass today and it turns out that he has quite the talent for keeping the congregation interested and demanding they stay engaged, without outright saying it. The candlelight reflecting on the golds in the moldings and the glass in the room, the smoke from the incense, and the energy from the congregation being engaged in the sermon came together very well. It seems they are a devout bunch and I must say I like the principles the church seems to teach- acceptance being a big factor. If they had been around all those years ago when I was in London I have a feeling they would’ve actually made an effort to help those poor souls that my church would not._

_ All in all I would’ve enjoyed tonight very much had Antonio not called me up in front of everyone right at the end. I wish he would’ve given me some warning at the very least! I was so close to running right out the doors! He called me up to the stage and introduced me to everyone! I realize in writing it sounds like something that shouldn’t be a big deal, but he told everyone I would play an important part in their entire religion! He told them all that I am Pestilence! I nearly fainted up there on the stage with him, with everyone’s curious eyes on me. He told me it was to save me from being bombarded by the siblings, but I doubt it could be that bad could it? I suppose there is nothing I can do about it now. We shall see what tomorrow brings.  _


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terzo asks for help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always apologies for formatting/historical errors etc

“Ah shit,” Copia mumbled, getting back up from the chair he  just  sat down in. His pen just ran dry.  _ Where do they keep the damn ink around here?  _ He thought as he strode towards where he thought he had seen what might’ve been a supply closet near the library entrance. Reaching for the handle he sighed.

_Locked. Of course_.  He was only a few days into the job and already had what seemed like everyone’s work piled on his shoulders. 

“Copiaaaaaah!” Came the voice of the youngest Emeritus brother.  _ Just what I need.  _ He ran his fingers through his hair and turned around. 

“I thought I’d find you here, I know you too well already, no?” 

“What do you need, Terzo?” 

“A good fuck!” He teased, thrusting his hips obscenely, knowing it would make the other man blush. He was right. 

“And I can help you with that....how?” Copia knew he was teasing, but was not in the mood for his antics. 

“I need your help.” 

He fought an eye roll. “Right.” 

“You’re not going to ask with what?” 

“Eh, no I’m actually quite busy, but I’m sure you’ll tell me anyway.” 

Terzo huffed, dropping the jokes. “I am no good at the old Latin. But you are, yes? You are really old so you can read this? Papa needs this for tonight’s ritual.” He produced a folder with what looked like pages torn from a  very old tome. 

Copias gasped, snatching the folder from his hands. “Did you- Did you  _ tear  _ these out!?” 

“I wasn’t going to carry the whole fucking book around?” 

“You can’t just-“ he pinched his nose and sighed, pulling the pages out of the folder and scanning his eyes over the title. 

“ The Summoning of Charismatic Ghouls?”  he read.  _ I’m not even going to ask.  _

“Ah, I was right! You  are old enough! So, you will help me?” He clapped his hands together, looking expectantly at Copia and giving a broad smile. 

“ Fine. Fine. I assume it needs to be written out so I will need more ink, which I  was looking for before you showed up, so if you could please direct me to where the ink is kept here...? 

“...Have you asked the librarian?”

“There’s a librarian?” Copia had spent days in the library and had not seen a single soul the entire time. 

“Copia, we have a library this size and you think we have no one in charge?” He laughed. “You are silly sometimes, eh? Just call him. Watch.” He closed his eyes and waved his hands dramatically, as if performing some sort of magic trick before calling out, “Alpha? Would you be so kind as to bring some ink?” 

Copia watched the other man put on a show and seemingly talk to absolutely _no one,_ thinking he was completely out of his mind until the air next to him seemed to shimmer like the air on a hot summer day. He was completely floored when a ghoul materialized, handed Terzo a container of ink, and disappeared again. He could not believe his eyes.

“What the fuck just happened?” He asked in disbelief, his eyes wide and mouth agape. 

“ I got your ink,” Terzo shrugged, chuckling at the expression on Copias face. “They are not from the surface, they have different abilities than we do.” He explained shortly, handing over the ink. 

Copia, still bewildered at what he just witnessed, silently walked back over to the table where he had been working. He pulled out a fresh sheet of paper and began translating the pages Terzo had given him while the other man sat across from him and watched. 

He had just made it to the second page before he was interrupted again. 

“So have you planned what you’ll wear for my party? A costume? A suit? Something else?” 

He looked up from the page to reply, “I wasn’t aware I was going.” 

“Of course you’re going Copia! The entire church will be there! And you’re a part of the church now, no?” 

He sighed, briefly looking up again, “I guess?I-“ 

Terzo cut him off, excitedly explaining, “We must get you ready then, this is important time of year for the church! You must look  and feel your best! Now tell me, what are you thinking to wear? 

Copia, afraid of what would happen should he admit to Terzo that he had no desire to _actually_ attend said party, gestured at his clothes, which were the what he had been wearing when he arrived at the church. He went back to writing, there was a lot he needed to get finished still. 

“Nooooo no no no, you can’t wear _that_. There will be important people there, and it is a party, and _that_ ,” he echoed Copias gesture at his clothes, “is boring. Clothes for working. Not clothes for party.” 

“The only other option I have is the clothes you brought me when I got here. These are more appropriate.” He was getting increasingly frustrated at the constant interruptions. How could he finish the pages Terzo brought him if Terzo himself would not leave him alone to actually finish? “Now please, be quiet so I can get this done? You’re not the only one who needs things from me today.”

Terzo was quiet for all of five minutes before a smile grew across his face and he started again. “Copia, we need to take you shopping! Coincidentally, I want a new outfit as well, so you can come with me. Works out perfectly, no?” 

Copia inhaled, preparing to explain  once again, he did not have time today, but was cut off before he got the chance to start. 

“Don’t look at me like that, I will help you, and then you will have time, and we will go. Problem solved.” He reached for one of the stacks of papers on the table, looking them over briefly, before producing a pen from his pocket and getting to work. 

Copia stared for a moment, amazed at seeing the other man doing something productive for once, before wordlessly continuing his task. He thought about asking why “ _The Summoning of a Charismatic Ghoul_ ”  was necessary for tonight considering it seemed to be instructions rather than scripture, but figured if he asked he would not get a  _ brief  _ explanation. 

The two men worked in silence for several hours, save for Terzo occasionally asking what a word meant. Evidently he hadn’t _truly_ needed that much help with the pages he had torn from the book, he either wanted someone else to do it, or wanted to come pester Copia into going shopping with him, and used that as an excuse to do so. Copia was impressed and pleasantly surprised how much sooner the work got done once Terzo decided to assist.

Placing the last page onto the ‘finished’ pile Terzo stood, stretching his arms above his head with a dramatic groan. 

“Alrighty, we go now.” He took off towards the door with Copia scrambling to catch up. 

“Isn’t the exit that way?” He questioned, realizing they were going towards the clergy offices, not the exit to the street. 

“I do not want to fucking _walk_ , and I cannot drive, so,” he turned back to look at Copia while continuing to walk forward, “We get Seco to drive us,” he shrugged and went back to looking where he was going, much to the relief of the other man.

——

A s  expected, Antonio was  _not_ happy about his brothers request, but grudgingly agreed with the promise that his brother would get Copia some more clothes instead of spending the entire time buying “More stupid shit the church does not need.” 

“This one would look good on you I think,” Terzo shoved a black swallowtail jacket into his hands. “Perfect for the party, no? See if it is your size.” 

Finally being handed something more on the modest side, Copia agreed. They had already found a few everyday items and an outfit for the party was last on the list, Terzo having found his- a somewhat obnoxious white and gold suit, right away. 

He checked the size. It was what he normally wore at his normal weight.  Might be a little too big still, but close enough.  Sick of shopping already he nodded to Terzo. “It’s fine.” 

The other mans face lit up. “I was beginning to think you’d never agree to anything! Come, let’s go. I’m tired of carrying this,” wiggling the garnet bag that was slung over his shoulder. 

They made it back outside to find their ride home, which much to Terzos dismay, was missing. 

_ “ Fanculo! Quello stronzo ci ha lasciato! Figlio di puttana! Che diavolo facciamo adesso?! _ _”_ The string of Italian curses fell from his mouth had attracted the attention of a few passerby.

Copia, being used to walking to get where he needed to go, simply replied with a shrug, “I presume we walk. It really wasn’t that far.” 

Terzo looked at him in disbelief. “ _Walk?_ The whole way back? Are you serious? There are things to carry?” 

“Which you are capable of carrying just fine, you are currently doing it, so let’s go.” He replied, holding back a laugh. He found it a bit comical how averse to averse to carrying  _ anything  _ the man was. It seemed this time it was  his turn to lead the way as he turned beginning the trip back to the abbey, ignoring the majority of Terzos complaints.

They made it back, their trip uneventful aside from the youngest Emeritus’ endless whining. Copia made his way up to his room, leaving Terzo to go find and tell his brother off on his own. 

_Definitely do not want to be a part of that_ ,  he thought as he unlocked his door. Noticing a note that had been slipped under the door, he set down the bags from the day on the bed and went back to pick it up. His eyes ran over the note quickly. 

_ Andrea,  _

_ When you return from you excursion with my brother, please come find me. I will wait in the worship hall.  _

It was signed simply with the Roman numeral ‘I’ 

Copia had to refrain from beating his head on his door.  _ Is it too much to ask to have a moment to myself today?  _ He thought, turning back to head back down the 4 flights of stairs. He wouldn’t lie, he wasn’t too keen on meeting Primo again. The way he always seemed to know what he was thinking made him uneasy. 

As he approached their meeting place he heard music from the organ filling the halls. 

_He really wants to start right now?_ He thought, entering the room quietly.

“Hello Primo, you eh, you asked for me?” 

Primo pushed himself back from the organ bench.

“Yes, thank you. I have a question for you.” He observed Copia for a moment before continuing,“Do you think you could handle singing in front of a crowd? And no, not for mass, not on your own, I am need of a singer for the chorus of some of the songs on the set list for the party.” 

Copia stood, trying desperately to form words. That was not at all what he was expecting to be asked. 

“I am in charge of the music for the night. We normally play several current songs along with classics. A few of which we play live. It gives more... life to the party that way. Antonio has agreed already, but Terzo has evidently decided he does not want to sing this time, so I need to replace him, you see.” He explained. 

_ It has been centuries since I sang in the choir! Can I even do it anymore? What if it gives me an attack?  _ He thought frantically, trying to find a way out. 

_He doesn’t have to know I have any experience singing. It’s been so long it barely counts anymore anyway_.  He finally decided. 

“I don’t-“ 

“Don’t try to tell me you don’t know how to sing, Andrea. I know that you do. I understand that it has been a while and that is fine. It’s just a few of the popular songs of today. I just need to know if you’ll be able to do it with a crowd present.” The calm voice questioned him, again seeming to already know what he was going to say. 

_Shit_. 

“I- I suppose I can try.” He replied nervously. 

“Good.” Primo handed him a few pages of sheet music, keeping his grip on them and looking at Copia. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. Do not worry.” He gave a nod and released the music, turning unceremoniously back to the organ he had been playing a melody on. 

Figuring he was dismissed, Copia started back to his room once again, music in hand. 

He read over the title on the top page as he walked. “ _By the Light of the Silvery Moon._ ”  It sounded familiar. Surely he had heard it in passing somewhere. At least it didn’t look too difficult. He sat at his desk and pulled out his journal. 

October 29, 1910

_ Hello journal,  _

_ I’m relieved to be done for today. It’s only been a few days since I began working here and I am already getting work piled on me. Maybe it’s because I find myself with an inability to say no when anyone asks for help. Terzo even had me translate for him today, claiming he couldn’t read it at all but I don’t think that was the case. He just didn’t want to do it by himself if you ask me. I am curious of what they needed that for, it seemed to be instructions for a ritual of some sort but didn’t want to ask earlier and it slipped my mind until now. Other things came up.  _

_ To make a long story short, he ended up helping me finish early and dragged me along shopping with him today. He had me get some new clothes and insisted I also get a suit or costume for the party, so I went with the former of course. His brother ended up leaving us there so we walked back. It really was not as far as Terzo made it seem. I’ve never heard a grown man whine as much as he did, heh.  _

_ Anyway, to top the day off, I found a note under my door when I got back. It was Primo requesting that I meet him. Turns out that he wants me to sing at their big party along with he and Antonio. Said Terzo usually would but refused this year for whatever reason. He did that thing where he already knew what I was going to say again, too. I was going to tell him I didn’t sing but somehow he knew I did, and that I was about to lie to him, which unnerves me to know end. I know for a fact I never mentioned being in the choir back in my catholic days. Im just thankful it is only a few songs. I’m not sure how I’ll take singing with an audience. It didn’t bother me when I was young but so much has changed, I don’t know how my body will react. I’m going to run through the music he gave me for little while. Goodnight for now.  _


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t like this one at all but I also don’t want to look at it anymore so here it is

Copia looked himself in the mirror, brushing imaginary wrinkles from his black jacket. Terzo had the churches tailor embroider the churches upside-down cross into the left side of the chest, matching the one he could be seen wearing frequently. Turning to the window he leaned over to check the time. 

_ 5:45. I have some time.  _ _He thought, taking a seat on his bed and scratching Luca’s head._

  
A knock at the door interrupted him. 

“Coming,” he stood with a groan and opened the door, finding Terzo standing in front of him already dressed in his cream and gold suit and a freshly painted face. 

“Copiaaaaah! That suit looks good!” He invited himself into the room and sat at Copias desk, crossing one leg over the other. 

“Eh, thank you?” He said as he watched Terzo make himself at home at his desk. It looked like the other man had something more to say so he wasn’t sure yet how to reply. “Is... everything okay? Am I missing something important or....?” He quickly checked his fly, relieved that _that_ wasn’t why he was being stared at, at least. 

Terzo narrowed his eyes before and hummed briefly before holding up a finger and responding “You are missing one thing, come, come, I will fix it. No big deal. Not at all.” He jumped up, not even bothering to look back to make sure Copia was actually following him. 

He led them to what Copia presumed to be his room. It was much larger than his own, with its own sitting area and fireplace. Through the door on one side of the fireplace he could see the corner of an unmade bed with a dark purple comforter hanging off the side, and through the other was what looked to be a large bathroom. He didn’t have too long to look around before Terzo sat next to him on the rooms sofa with a container of black paint and a brush in his hands. 

“What- what is that for?” Copia asked cautiously, not having the slightest idea what the skull faced man intended to do with a pot of black paint. 

“Everyone, even the siblings, paint their faces tonight. It is tradition to celebrate this way. You need at least something.” 

He offered the pot and brush to Copia. “People usually do some sort of skull features, but there are others. What do you want?” 

Copia, still just holding what was handed to him replied, “I eh, I don’t know, I don’t know.” He paused, remembering that Terzo has pulled pranks on him before, “Are you fucking with me?” 

“No! No, I would _never_ do that, if you’re not gonna do it let me see. I am good with this.” He asked for the paint and brush back with one hand and gestured at his own painted face with the other. 

“Close your eyes.” Terzo commanded. 

Copia felt the cold wetness of the paint around one eye, then the other, and finally his top lip. 

“Keep your eyes closed for a minute, or you’ll mess up the paint. I’ll tell you when, yes?” 

He heard steps moving in the direction of the bathroom, the glass of the pot of paint being set on a counter, and steps coming back to him before feeling the sofa shift with the weight of another occupant. 

“Okay, ready? Let’s go.” Terzo instructed after a few seconds of silence. 

Copia tried to catch a glimpse of his reflection before following,  _ I must look like a raccoon,  _ He thought to himself.

—-

Much to his relief, Terzo was telling the truth, every single person in attendance was wearing at least some design on their face. There was a buzz of excitement in the air as drinks were already flowing and music was already playing. Everyone who wasn’t dancing had a drink in one hand and food in the other. 

Copia decided to go find Primo, picking up a glass of champagne on his way. 

_Got to start working down these nerves somehow_.  He thought, catching sight of the man he was looking for talking with his brother and a few other siblings that would be singing as well. 

Primo noticed him approach. “Andrea, you’re looking well. We will get started in a few minutes, get this party kicked off. Just take deep breath, you’ll be fine.” 

Antonio nodded, “He is correct. Nobody pays all that much attention to us anyway, they stay busy finding their next partner, which I’m sure is what my  _ fratellino  _ has decided to do instead, the little bitch.” They had been fighting since the day Antonio left them in town, and apparently relations hadn’t yet improved.

—-

The small group was finishing their last song of the night, and much to Copias surprise, he was fine. No shaky hands, no tears, no gasping for breath. His heart was only racing because for the first time in a long time, he realized he felt happy. Included. He felt a sense of belonging he hadn’t felt in years. It gave him a whole new sort of energy running through him. Once he realized his body was not going to betray him, he even found himself dancing a little as he sang. He couldn’t believe it, he was disappointed as the song came to a close, but was unable to wipe the smile off his face. 

Primo noticed this as well, asking him with a small knowing smile, “So Andrea, will you be joining us at the next event?” 

Copia replied “Yes,” without hesitation as the group disbanded. 

He spent the rest of the night enjoying himself, the social dancing he learned at the estate as a stableboy coming back to him like it was yesterday. While the styles had changed since, the principles were the same. He must’ve danced with nearly everyone in the room, high on the newfound feeling of belonging and a bit drunk on all the alcohol that was flowing freely. It was a night he would not soon forget, solidifying his decision to stay with the church as long as he was able. 

When he finally made it back to his room he attempted a journal entry before passing out for the night. 

October 31, 1910

_ I am drunk, Lord am I hapy, but I am also very drun k. I found my new hom I think.  _

_ The singing it went good. No panickng this time. I danc ed with everyone. Terzo too I fhink, every body had paint hard to tell.  _

_ Ifeel happyin my bone s. Goodnight  _


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you know werthers have been around that long? I didn’t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same as always, apologies for formatting/historical errors etc  
> Thanks for reading!

Copia was coming up on his fifth year with the church. He had settled in well and was generally pleased with his life as it was now. Today found him in Papa Nihils office, for whom he had become something of a secretary. 

“Copia.” He heard his name for what felt like the thousandth time that day. Nihil had been giving him meaningless task after meaning less task the  entire day and he felt the hair on the back of his neck bristle in irritation. 

“Yes, Papa?” 

“I need you to go buy me some more candies from the market. I am all out.”

Copia clenched his teeth to avoid saying something he shouldn’t. “Is it urgent, Papa? You also needed me to re-organize this bookshelf and schedule your sermons for this week as well?” 

Nihil looked at Copia with his milky eyes, bringing his shoulders up to his ears, raising his eyebrows all the way up into his mitre that Copia was sure he must sleep in, and frowned before drawling out an answer, “I mean, How else will I keep the peace around here?”

_ Maybe by doing your job?  _ He thought to himself before letting out a sigh and sliding the book in his hand back onto the bookshelf. 

“Right, Right.” He waved his hand dismissively and headed to the door, grabbing the keys to the churches car off their hook next to Nihils desk. For someone who couldn’t drive he sure was protective of it. 

He was thankful he had Antonio teach him to drive a couple of years back. That car turned out to be a godsend with the amount of trips Nihil had him making into town each day. It seemed as soon as he got back from one trip there was something else the old man  needed urgently that sent him on another. He had even started asking before he left “ Are you absolutely positive there is nothing else you need me to get before I go?” The answer, of course, was always no. 

He walked through the store, scanning the isles for the old mans  _ fucking werthers  _ that he had taken such a liking to. Finally spotting the gold bag he grabbed it quickly so he could get back to the other list of tasks he had for today. It wasn’t even only Nihil that had him doing all manners of menial tasks and errands for them. Terzo always had some sort of translation issue he insisted he needed help with, Antonio asked for help with keeping track of the churches expenses every week, Primo was getting more and more persistent about him perfecting the pieces he was to play for masses, and Sister Imperator always had more administrative work for him to do. _At least she usually seemed appreciative of the help._

He walked back into Nihils office, dropping the golden bag onto the middle of the desk that Nihil still occupied before wordlessly going back to the bookshelf. It had not been more than five minutes before he heard his name again. 

“Copia.” 

_ God damn it.  _ He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before turning. “Yes, Papa?” 

“What do you think,” he paused to think, “Of the church starting a band?” 

_ A what?  _

Confused, he turned to Nihil, “A- a band? As in a group that performs music?” 

“Yeeees, boy, to spread the word of Satan, what the hell other kind of band is there?” He yelled, throwing his hands in the air dramatically. 

Copia winced. “I eh, I do not know?”

“Ahhhhh, boy. You are no help.” He growled, standing and leaving the room. 

_ What the hell kind of question was that? If he means for a band that plays songs about Satan nobody is going to let them play in public? Why would he even ask me, he seems to think I am a fucking idiot?  _ Copia stood, thinking to himself before shaking his head and returning to work. 

At least he’s gone so I can actually finish this. 

—-

I t was minutes until midnight mass started and he still had several pages of the French tome that that librarian ghoul Alpha asked him to translate to go. If he hadn’t missed the past two already, he would’ve skipped this one as well. He was absolutely exhausted, having slept  maybe  8 hours over the past week. 

The dark bags under his eyes were reminiscent of the design Terzo painted on him every year for the Halloween party - he did not want to even  think about the fact they would have to start the arrangements for this year soon. He dropped his pen on his desk with a clatter and stood, stretching his arms above his head with a groan. He put his hand on the doorknob and turned before deciding on a quick detour back to the bathroom to splash water on his face in effort to wake himself up. 

“ What a fucking mess,” he spoke to his own reflection in the mirror and ran his fingers through his hair before rushing back out the door. He would be late, but was past the point of caring. 

3 a.m. found him nodding off over the final page of work for the day. Not even his rat had managed to stay awake with him tonight. 

_ Must be nice _ _,_ he thought for a moment before he realized how ridiculous it was to be jealous of a rat. 

He dropped unceremoniously into his bed, nearly launching Luca off of it as he did so. The sound of angry squeaking filled his ears and he sat halfway back up, about to get out of bed again to offer him some apology snacks before he gave a dismissive wave to no one in particular and decided against it.  _ He will forgive me by breakfast anyway. _

4 a.m. found him still awake, tossing and turning, frustrated and unable to find a comfortable position to sleep. His mind was already occupied with tomorrow’s deadlines as they drew closer and closer the longer he couldn’t sleep. He let out a long frustrated whine and threw off the covers as he stood and padded over to the kitchenette to make himself some chamomile tea. 

_Thank whichever Lord is responsible for indoor plumbing_ ,  The cold nights spent carrying buckets in from the well outside in his youth came to mind as he filled the by simply turning the knob on the sink. 

_ And for these gas burners,  _ he added as he lit the stove to heat the water  without having to find wood and kindling to start a fire that he would have to watch the whole night. 

He sat at his desk and dug out his old journal, beginning to write as he nursed the fresh tea. 

June 11, 1915

_ H ello journal. I’m sorry I have neglected you again as of late. My work here at the church has kept me unbelievably busy and by the time I finally come back to my room for the night I have no desire to put pen to paper.  _

_ Although I am very grateful for each day I spend here with those who are beginning to feel like family, I am exhausted. Every day is just as busy as the last, if not more so. It seems everyone needs my help with something and by midday my to-do list becomes long enough to last until midnight at the earliest. While it is not physically demanding per se, it does wear on me. Sometimes I feel that I have been more short -tempered than I truly am and I feel guilty when I snap at whoever is on the receiving end.  _

_ Primo is set to ascend soon so maybe once he takes the reins things will become a little more organized than the way his father runs the church. Maybe Nihil will go off and start his band he had an idea about earlier today and leave me in peace, without the useless shit he always has me doing I could be done much earlier each day.  _

_ I just made myself some tea and I am beginning to feel it’s effects. It is a bit after four in the morning now so I am going to try and see if I can finally fall asleep this time. Goodnight. _


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Copia gets some help from Terzo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda short again, but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> Thank you guys so much for your comments! I get so excited to see them, I’m still shocked that people are actually reading and enjoying this, so thank you! 
> 
> As always apologies for formatting/historical errors etc

The sun was just rising above the horizon when the sound of knuckles against the door roused Copia from his slumber. He groggily rubbed his eyes for several seconds before his bleary mind processed that someone was at his door. He quickly made an attempt to tame his messy bed head before he got up to answer the door, wondering who it could be at this hour. Giving his nightshirt one last tug to make himself as presentable as he could on such short notice, he opened the door and found himself face to face with Antonio’s stern visage. 

“Andrea.” He could feel the other mans mismatched eyes giving him a judgmental once over, “I have a favor to ask of you.” 

_Here we go again_ ,  he started a mental list for today in his mind. 

“How can I eh, how can I help you?” He asked, his voice still deep with sleep. 

“I have an urgent matter I need to attend to tonight. I will not be able to give tonight’s sermon as scheduled. I think it would be a perfect opportunity for you to start, you should be doing it anyway, being such an important figure for the end of days.” It did not look like Antonio was merely asking, or giving a suggestion. 

For the first time in a while, Copia felt nerves start to build in his stomach. It was a feeling he hadn’t missed in the slightest. 

“I-I dont-I can’t do that, I am not-I am no one of authority, I don’t even know what I would say? I’m just-“ he stammered, desperately trying to get what his brain was thinking out of his mouth. 

“You’ll be fine. Though you are correct in that you currently hold no title aside from that of a sibling, you are just as important of a figurehead as a Papa would be. You have been chosen by the Dark Lord for a reason and the congregation needs to know you will be a leader when the time comes. Can I trust that you will do this? I will not ask twice.” The middle Emeritus brother scolded. 

“I eh, I don’t-“ a glare from Antonio cut him off, something about it telling him that ‘no’ was not an option. “Alright. I will-I will try.” He nodded sheepishly.

“Good.” The other man responded simply before disappearing back down the hall. 

Copia stood in the doorframe feeling his heart rate begin to spike and his hands begin to shake. He threw on a fresh set of clothes for the day as his mind raced. 

_ Why the hell did I just agree to that?! Am I out of my fucking mind?  _ He thought frantically, his feet taking him to Terzo’s door almost of their own accord. He couldn’t think of anyone else to go to and prayed that Terzo could do something to help, not caring that the man was probably still enjoying the bliss of sleep. 

He frantically knocked on the door, going a bit overboard with the volume, until he heard footsteps approaching from the other side. 

“This better be  fucking  important  _stronzo_ ,  I am bu-“ the voice came from behind the door stopped abruptly when he saw his visitor was in fact, not his brother but a very distressed looking Copia. His brow furrowed.

“Copia? What is it? Talk to me,” he pulled the petrified man into the room, excusing himself for a moment before a sister exited his bedroom, red faced and haphazardly dressed. He then proceeded to take a seat next to the other man and waited uncharacteristically patiently for him to speak. 

“Your brother- he - I have to-“ he paused to try to catch his breath before he passed out on Terzos sofa, “Your brother told me,” another deep breath, “I have to speak tonight,” he shoved his hands underneath himself to still their shaking. 

“My brother asked you to lead the sermon tonight?” 

Copia nodded, now frustrated at himself for not being able to get words out again. 

“Ah, I see. And you come to Terzo for help, yes?” 

Another nod. 

“You come to the right place then, Terzo is good with speeches, eh?” He gave Copia a broad smile. 

“Ok. Here is the plan, first-we go down and get some breakfast, then we come back here and we write something out, and I will be your congregation, yes? You stay here and calm yourself and I go get ready.” He gave Copia a pat on the shoulder before standing and heading to his room to dress for the day. 

After breakfast, which most of Copias remained uneaten, the two men returned to Terzos room. Together they had written a sermon highlighting the importance of perseverance in prayer, using the story of Copia’s deal as proof. Terzo had pushed his furniture around to make space for a mock ‘stage’ which he was using to direct Copia on the finer details of having “An exciting and intriguing stage presence” from the makeshift pew of a sofa. 

Copia appreciated the effort, but it wasn’t the actual _preaching_ that was the issue. He had done that many times before. Sure it was several centuries ago, but like many other things, the style had changed but the principles have not. He knew he was capable of preaching. He would never have become a priest if he had not been. He tried to explain this to Terzo. 

“It’s not the speaking that is the problem in this case. It is the subject, Terzo! I can read this to you all day, you already know what happened, but the others do not!” He argued.

Terzo cocked his head, his eyes following Copia as he paced back and fourth across the room. “Everyone knows you are a horseman. My brother told them years ago, no?” 

“Yes, but-“ 

“And when he told them did anyone become upset at you?” 

He stopped pacing, turning to the other man before answering weakly, “Well, no, but-“ 

He was cut off again.

“Again with ‘but!’” His hands flew up in exasperation, “You do not need this. We do not get upset when you told us the story, yes?” Copia nodded. 

“And we are the role models for the church as well, yes? 

“I... yes?” 

“And if your role model does not laugh or shout, you do not laugh or shout, yes?” 

Copia let out a sigh and shrank like a scolded dog would and replied, realizing he was correct. 

“...Yes.” He walked back over to the sofa and sat down, defeated, putting his head in his hands with a huff. 

Terzo regarded him for a moment, still seeing the tension in the other mans shoulders, and made an offer, “Okay, okay how about this,” he held up both hands, “I go with you to the stage, keep some eyes off you a little, eh?” 

Copia thought for a moment. Terzo  did tend to hold the attention of the room- he had plenty of admirers, and the less eyes burning into him the better. 

He sat back up. “I guess?” 

“You  _guess_?  You must not  really want my help then. I retract my offer.” Terzo quipped, voice laden with mock offense, pulling a short laugh out of Copia who rolled his eyes.

“Yes Terzo, I’d like your help, thank you.” He replied, mood lightened considerably for a few seconds before the rest of his to do list for the day came to mind. 

“Ah, shit,” he stood, rushing to the door before turning around to address Terzo, “I have so much shit to do and-“ he pointed his thumb at the door while walking backwards. 

“Yeah yeah, go on, see you tonight.” Terzo dismissed him with a wave and watched the nervous man run out the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gotta say these past few days Im really feeling for young copia living with no running water! Context: I’m in south Texas, and our city doesn’t know how to deal with cold, the cities pumps and stuff froze and now we haven’t had water for like 3 days :/
> 
> Anyways, there’s only a couple chapters left after this, and I have them done already so I’ll put them up in the next day or two. I’ll also go back and try to fill in the big time gaps eventually when ideas come to mind for them. 
> 
> On the plus side, being stuck in my house having nothing to do has given me time to write like 15 chapters so far of a new one that’s something of a sequel to this, but it’s a completely different style so probably once this one is all up I’ll start putting the other.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Copia has a misunderstanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very short one then just one more after this, and I might just yeet the last one on here a bit later. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and as always apologies for any formatting/historical errors etc

Copia could hear the increasing volume of the crowd filing into the hall from the ‘staging room’ the church had to the side of the stage. He nervously wrung his hands and kept his eyes locked on the doorknob, waiting for it to turn and announce Terzo’s arrival. 

_ He’s late. Of course. Fuck.  _

He could feel his hands shake and desperately wished for them to still at least enough to not be so obvious when he had to go out. 

The doorknob finally turned at the last second and Terzo pranced into the room wearing the same black suit and white shirt he frequently wore. He appeared to be trying to hold in a laugh,  _ he must’ve been out flirting with some sister on his way,  _ Copia figured in annoyance. 

“Copiaaaaaah! Are you ready for you debut?” His excitement grated on Copia’s nerves. “Let’s get this over with, eh?” He clapped him on the shoulder and led the way out to the stage. 

Copia followed Terzo to the center of the stage, feeing the eyes of the congregation watching his every movement. He tried to focus on what was being said instead of the blood rushing in his ears. 

“Good evening everyone, it is a beautiful night, no? How the fuck are you doing? It’s very nice to see you all,” Terzo addressed the crowd with a confident ease Copia could only dream of. 

“You all know our resident horseman here, yes?” The crowed responded collectively in the affirmative, eating up the energy the youngest Emeritus always brought to his sermons. 

“Well, you are all in for a treat today! I’m sure you know tonight is my brothers night to lead, but, as you can see” he dramatically looked from side to side, “he is not here today, so he has asked our friend Copia to take his place, to tell you a story of the power of our lord, Satan!” He threw his hands in the air earning a cheer from the crowd before gesturing at Copia to come forward, then much to Copia’s dismay, he bowed deeply and hopped down to sit next to Primo. 

Copia stood, the classic ‘deer in the headlights’ look plastered on his face. A million thoughts went through his mind. 

_ What the fuck happened to ‘I’ll be up there with you!?’ Shit shit shit what do I do now?  _

Hundreds of pairs of eyes were watching him expectantly. He went pale and felt his hands start to shake violently. He quickly hid them behind his back, closed his eyes, and took a shaky breath. 

“Eh, hello.” He gave a small bow, an echo of the one Terzo just gave. “How- eh, how do you do?” He cringed, he could tell that was awkward _even with_ his mind as clouded as it was.  _ I am going to kill that fucker for leaving me up here.  _

Everything from that point on was a blur, and if you asked him what he said that night he could not answer. When he finally finished speaking, the only thing he registered in his mind was Primo’s peculiar gaze following him as he exited the room as quickly as he could, wanting more than anything to distance himself from the experience. 

He was nearing the top of his fourth flight of stairs when the anger set in, the hurt coming right after.  _ I can’t believe he left me up there. I trusted him! He probably only came to watch me flounder over my fucking words in front of everyone!  _ His hand was on his doorknob before he remembered that everyone knew where his room was.  _Fuck_. 

Seeing anyone was the last thing he wanted to do.  _ They will come find me to tell me what a disaster that was. They will tell me to leave. Maybe I should just leave first so I won’t have to hear them say it.  _ He went back to the staircase, this time continuing until he reached the ladder going up to the roof. Nobody would find him there. He sat against the stone, the coolness seeping through his clothes as closed his eyes and slowly calmed his breathing. He could already hear Papa Nihil’s ridicule when he went to work tomorrow morning. He could see the siblings looks of disgust at the mess of a man that was a chosen horseman. He could see the faces of the boys back at the catholic abbey as they told him he would never amount to anything. All the memories of his various failures were coming to the forefront of his mind and it wasn’t long before his vision blurred with hot tears that he refused to let fall. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there, stewing in his own mind before he heard footsteps approaching. He glanced up, curious who had found him. A moment later Terzo wordlessly slid down the wall he was leaning against and sat next to him, one leg out and one knee bent. Neither man spoke; Copia still feeling the low burn of anger in his chest, and Terzo waiting to take it. 

After nearly ten minutes of silence, Terzo shuffled, taking a cigar case from his pants pocket, pulling out one for himself before offering a second to Copia. “Care for a smoke?” Copia shook his head. 

“Suit yourself.” Terzo shrugged, lighting his cigar with a small spark of static between the snap of his fingers before he leaned back against the wall again, waiting for Copia to comment. He didn’t miss the bewilderment on the other mans face and that was exactly his goal.

“What the fuck did you just do?” Eventually, Copia’s curiosity won him over and he broke the stubborn silence.

“I lit my cigar?” He feigned innocence, taking a drag before shrugging again in effort to get Copia to speak and not fall back into his self imposed vow of silence.

“N-No, the eh-“ The other man snapped his fingers a couple times, not sure how to describe what he saw. 

A small grin grew on Terzos face as he blew smoke into the night air. “Ah, you mean this?” He snapped his fingers again, this time pulling them apart slowly as an arc of static flowed between his finger and thumb. 

Copia blinked hard, rubbing his eyes to be sure he was actually seeing what he thought he was. “How the fuck-“

“You remember how I told you my brothers and I, we are part demon, no?” He took another drag from the cigar. 

Copia nodded slowly, brows furrowed, unsure where he was going with this. 

“A long life is not the only benefit, eh?” He closed his hand, snuffing out the spark. “Mine is the coolest, I think. Theirs you can’t  see.” 

“Are you just... not going to tell me what theirs are? Are you just going to leave me hanging on that too, then?” He was still upset. 

Terzo let out a sigh. “Look Copia, I am sorry, but I did what I said I would do, no? A misunderstanding, I think.” He turned to Copia, a thin trail of smoke rising from his cigar as he spoke with his hands. “I say ‘ Copia, I go on with you, they look at me instead’ , not ‘ Copia, I stand around on stage with you and watch you talk from there’. ” 

Copia felt like an idiot. He had gotten so angry, but Terzo was right. Now that he thought about it, he really didn’t know what he was expecting the other man to do. It would’ve been weird to have him what, stand there and hold his hand while he spoke? 

“You- you’re right. My anger was unwarranted. I am sorry.” His voice was flat, disappointed in himself. 

“Of course I’m right, I am Terzo!” He laughed and spoke again, “And I was not there to ‘watch you flounder’, either.” 

Copia froze, eyes narrowed.

“How are you quoting my own thoughts to me? Are you going to tell me you’re a psychic as well?” 

Terzo laughed, shaking his head. “No no, not me. Primo.” He gave Copia a smile, “He told me you were thinking it when you left. Told me where you were going too, so I find you. I couldn’t let you think I was only there to laugh, eh?” 

“ Right.”  _ That explains how he always knows what I am going to say before I actually say it.  _

“ And Seco? His is kind of shitty.  I think that’s why he is always so pissed. He has  coercion .” Seeing the confused look on Copias face he explained further. “He  can make anyone do what he wants but this is church of Satan, no? We celebrate free will, it would be wrong for him to use it. Except for emergency maybe.” 

They fell into a comfortable silence, watching the clouds pass through the dark sky. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Terzos thing comes from the music videos obviously, the other two are just like hcs that at least in my mind seem to fit them but ive always thought it’d be cool if they each had their own fancy abilities as a bonus


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dont stick your hand in hot ash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last one and I’m sorry to say another short one! Not too happy with the ending but same as for the rest I might end up changing or adding stuff later on.

The day finally came when Primo was going to be taking the reins of the church from his father. A buzz of nervousness and excitement filled the abbey as everyone awaited his ascension ceremony. 

Copia had been sitting at the organ for hours, working on getting the part right for that night. 

_ Why the hell would he write a song that sounds fucking backwards,  _ he thought to himself, glad Primo wasn’t around to hear as he started the series of measures that were giving him the most trouble one more time. 

_ Fuck it, that’s as good as it’s gonna get for now.  _ He was not gonna waste what had been made a day off for everyone at the abbey at the organ bench. It was a nice day and he wanted to spend it outside. 

He found himself on what was beginning to become his customary bench in the gardens. It was strategically placed under a tree and around a corner where there was not much traffic to interrupt him. He was reading through a book of the most recent medical practices of the time, he didn’t spend a century as a doctor just to let his skills fall out of date after all, even if he was not actively practicing. 

Most of his day was spent enjoying the weather, listening to the wind rustle the leaves on the trees, and blissfully relaxing in the quiet peace. As the night’s event grew near he heard the telltale careful footsteps over grass that could only belong to Primo. He looked up, addressing the soon to be Anti-Pope, 

“Hello Primo, ready for tonight?” 

“I have been prepared for years,” he nodded before continuing, “I am coming to inform you that you will want to dress well tonight, but nothing too bulky.”

Copia inhaled, about to ask why but Primo beat him to it, as he usually did when a question came into his mind. 

“You don’t have to worry about it, it’s simply something that has been a long time coming.” He turned and left before Copia could ask for any further explanation. 

_ Ah shit, I guess I have to go change then.  _

He marked his page before making the trek back to his room, he wanted to give himself time to make it without being sweaty from rushing up several flights of stairs. Upon reaching his room he dug out the black suit Terzo had him buy for the first Halloween party several years ago. Now that he had filled out it fit him well, if anything a bit tight, which would be perfect for whatever Primo had up his sleeve. Giving Luca a quick pat he made his way back down to the worship hall, looking forward to see how the Satanic church handled appointing a new anti-Pope.

Between his parts playing the ceremonial songs of the church and the tasks involved in the ascension ritual it went by quickly. Before everyone knew it Guillermo Emeritus was the new leader of the church, standing, arms spread wide, in his black and red chausible and silver mitre. His first sermon as Anti-Pope was surprisingly engaging for a man who was normally quite reserved. He announced his plans for the future of the church, some big and some small. 

Copia’s heart very nearly beat out of his chest with shock when Primo announced that he was appointing him as bishop, citing his hard work and horseman status, directing him to that room to the side of the stage where he would find his new official church attire, a simple black cassock similar to what the other Emeritus brothers wore- minus the biretta. In place of the green or purple sash on theirs was a black cord that would tie around his waist. 

He put it on, shaking hands struggling on all of the buttons, fearing that he would wake up from a dream any second. He felt the familiar weight of the pellegrina shifting on his shoulders as he moved, something he had not felt in centuries, as he walked over to the mirror in the room. A million emotions and memories flooded his mind at once, and to his surprise the one that prevailed was excitement. His eyes moved to the still shouldering incense burner on its hook next to him. He watched as his hand reached out to touch the hot ashes, the pain he felt upon making contact enough to convince him that he was, in fact, awake. 

_ Fucking idiot _ , he briefly thought to himself, realizing that sticking his hand in hot ashes on purpose would not go down in history as one of his smartest moves, before taking a deep breath and going back to the stage. 

The newly crowned Anti-Pope and his brothers met him in the center of the stage, Terzo gesturing dramatically at him, causing a cheer from the crowd. 

Once they quieted, Copia heard the calming voice of Primo, 

“Welcome to the clergy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first few chapters of the sort of sequel to this “I Need you to Know” are already up!


End file.
